Darkness
by BellRurunei
Summary: In a world were the sun is blocked out, Countries and poeple try to survive alone. Canada has to learn how ti take care of his brother amd other broken nation he finds.
1. Apalerose

Darkness is hell. The hell they now lived in. Walking from one abandoned building to abandoned building aimlessly. The figures may of been people, but with their layers of clothing and disfigured bony bodies made them look more like birds. Like the pigeons of the city they wondered looking for food. They gathered around beacons of light like moths. The fires lights pouring out over old trash cans meant safety. A single man stood leaning in a door frame. He was whispered about among the children for being so very kind and his stories were renown. His eyes a tired violet; his hair flat and dirty except for a curl that stuck out. He didn't often come close to the little camp of survivors often but when he did the adults would tell their children not to bother him. Of course when do children ever listen to such warnings.

A little girl wrapped in layers of clothes to avoid the cold the unending cold, scurried over to the man. She had heard her brother's and sisters tell tales about how the man was a ghost or a vampire that would eat her. She paid these stories no mind she was far more mature to believe in such stories. Besides her friend had told her much nicer things about the wanderer. Yet as she approached him, it felt as if a freezing wind pushed her toward him.

"Hello. I am Amanda" she said brightly. She put her hand out trying to be polite as her mother would when making important trade with others.

Hello Amanda are you lost?" The mans voice was softer than any Amanda had ever heard. The man crouched down and shook her outstretched hand.

"No. This is where I want to be." She answered determined.

"Ah." He looked at her curiously. "You want something from me?" He smiled. "Here this is something you shall like I think." In the man's outstretched hand was a hair pin. It was green and red with tiny medal roses. "This I found recently. I think it should belong to you. You are a good child I can tell." He finished.

Amanda took it and held it in her hands it was so small and gentle. She looked up at him in wonder.

"Thank you." She breathed, "I am not here for your gifts. I need to ask you a question". This was an important question and impossible hope filled question that the girl knew he could only have the answer to.

"Ask then. If that is what you wish of me." He said.

"My mother says that you fought in the war."

Ah the war, World War III a War no one saw coming. A war that shook the earth setting it into the darkness. This man knew everything about the war.

"She says she knows cause the way you walk. If you fought then you would know." Amanda continued.

"What is it I know." He brushed his long hair out of his eyes. Never did he imagine a small child would dare mention the war. It had become taboo to bring up the thing that had caused the worlds suffering.

"My papa told me the war killed Santa Claus. Is that true, because I need to write to Santa Claus but I can't If He is dead." She said her eyes pricking slightly with tears.

He looked at her in shock. 'Santa Claus?' He thought. He knew the story that parents would say to their children about Santa Claus. They would claim the Santa was dead simply to stop children from asking for Christmas presents that they would never be able to give as for him he knew where the story came from. The one who would be called Santa Claus had been killed. Yes Finland was long gone but perhaps he could still help the little girl.

"He is gone but there are still those who carry on his work" he couldn't bring himself to lie to the child. "Perhaps I can hear your wish little one. I may be able to help."

"I just wanted to ask if he would bring papa back.?" Amanda was crying now. She had been so sure Santa was still around.

The man drew the girl into a hug. He wished he could help her but all he could do was comfort her sadness. Inwardly, he cursed the forces that had brought all the desolation, all the warring, all the death to the world. The little girl sniffed quietly.

"I got your shirt all wet." She whispered.

"That's alright. It will dry. You should probably be getting back to your mama eh?" He said ruffling her hair. The girl's mama had come up to them looking for Amanda

"Mama!" Amanda cried running up to the woman. The woman quickly lifted the girl up in her arm.

"Look at what he gave me." Amanda pointed at the wonderer and showed her mother the hair clip.

"Matthew. That was a kind thing to do." The woman nodded.

"You know him mama?" Amanda asked.

"He comes to the camps often. We have had some conversation." The woman summarized, "but you little one should go back to the tent." She shooed her daughter away from Matthew and then turned back to him.

"How have you been? We haven't seen you in a while. Issac was getting worried?" She said.

"I have been all right just have had a lot of wood cutting to do. That's why I'm here actually ended up with more than enough so I dropped some off here." He said.

"Oh you always are so kind Matthew. It's good to keep warm. I know I asked before but... are you sure you are alright by yourself out there in the woods on your own." She shivered being alone out in the darkness was such a scary thing to her. "There are wolfs and such."

Matthew chuckled, "I alright really got Alfred to keep me company. The cabin is usually warm if I get the fire right.

The woman huffed. She had seen the cabin Matthew spoke about. It was more like a shack to be honest. She knew that Matthew never agreed to stay with the group but she supposed it was simply his nature.

"Well it's your choice though I have know idea why you stay so far away. Here let me get you some food to bring back with you." She hurried to the tent to grab some salted fish. But when she returned Matthew had already disappeared back into the woods.

————————-

Matthew stomped through the snow carrying his lantern and leaning heavily on his makeshift cane. Amanda's mother was not wrong about why he walked with a limp. He indeed had fought in the war. He fought just as all the nations had. Thinking back it had been a stupid fight anyway and the chaos they had released as a result for their anger and greed had destroyed everything. The bombs they sent to win a silly little war had broke the power grids taking all lights and then they also caused almost every major volcano to explode which had covered the sun, this setting the word in endless cold darkness. So many had died and nations destroyed over a fight over something as stupid as boundaries.

Matthew pushes on seeing the light from his cabin. He opened the old door soaking in the warmth from the fire. It had been a painful hike and his leg ached awfully bad.

"Hey Al. I am back." He said leaning his cane against the door and slipping down next to the fire and his brother. Matthew knew Alfred wouldn't respond but Matthew would still talk normally as ever. Alfred his dear sweet stupid brother was the reason for all of this. Again he had gotten involved in the world's problems when he didn't need to but this time instead of relieving tensions he had ended up making everything worse. Nations got angry and war broke out. Now his brother laid covered in fur blankets, in a unconscious state caused by the bombs and volcanoes from a war of his own causing. Alfred had been in such a coma for so long Matthew wondered if he would ever wake again. So they stayed in the forgotten forest of Canada trying to survive as for as long as they could. Matthew brushed his brother's hair out of his eyes. The blue eyes seemingly for ever closed were missed greatly.

"I found this hair clip on the road yesterday ended up giving to this kid. She seemed to like it." Matthew laid down next to Alfred, "it's feels nice to talk to citizens again. But I did miss you while I was walking home." Matthew knew that staying away from his people wasn't good but he couldn't bring himself to face the people whose lives the nation's had ruined.

"So I guess it better we stay away then. It would suck if you woke up without me here." He added. He watched the fire for a while and entered the minds darkness.


	2. Freshsnow

Matthew awoke to see the fire only embers.

"Crap"

He quickly turned on his battery powered lantern and grabbed some more wood and tried getting the fire back up. He had gotten pretty good at doing so for every other morning the fire would die. He looked over at Alfred.

"That was a near disaster guess it's morning eh." He said.

In this dark world no one really had any way of keeping time. Sure there old watches and such, but there simply was no real reason to keep up with time. People were more focused on finding food or protecting themselves from the cold to be thinking about the clock. Matthew found the lack of time a bit disorienting. It would make him nauseous when he woke up not knowing if it truly was morning, but then again it wasn't often he didn't feel nauseous these days. He stood up and stretched his skinny arms and started grabbing some caned food. Losing so many citizens was most likely the cause of his health problems. People fueled nations and to lose so many could well it could make one end up like Alfred.

Speaking of America, it was time for breakfast so Matthew sat down and opened a can of tuna and shared it with his brother. He had to lift Alfred up and then open his mouth and the place tiny bits of the fish in. He made sure that Alfred swallowed. He definitely didn't want his brother to be choking on tuna. That would be an awful way to die.

The room was quiet as normal the only sound coming from cracking embers from the fire place.

Matthew finished breakfast and cleaned out the make sift bed pan he made for Alfred. He didn't have a lot of official medical supplies so he had to make certain things out of scratch. Like how he used coffee to try and help his headaches. The real medical stuff he reserved for Alfred. It was proper his supposed. His brother the one worse off so Matthew would give him the Tylenol they had. He didn't know if in his sleep if his brother was in pain so he gave Al it just in case. Although his leg was aching really bad that morning, he didn't fall into the temptation to take one of the white pills.

'It wouldn't be right' He thought.

Matthew finished giving Alfred one of the pills and stood up.

"I am gonna go out and check the traps." He said wrapping Alfred back up in blankets. "Watch The fire for me eh Al"

He patted Alfred's cheek and left the cabin.

——

It had snowed again. It crunched under his feet like fall leaves. Snow was the bane of Matthew's existence. It make everything feel colder and it made it harder for him to get around. He looked up at the darkened sky pitch black from ash and smoke. Remembering when the last news cast before everything when under, Matthew shivered.

——-

"This I am afraid probably the last time we will be able to speak to the public." The BBC Anchor had said.

"We have guests here to give the world a final update."

The camera shot to two people Matthew knew very well. His family France and England stood. France had looked like he was going to cry and England face was in the tightest stiff upper lip he could muster.

"You do not know us. But as citizens, as people, as family, we pray you listen to us. Our scientists have confirmed that the rest of the volcanoes around the world have been triggered by the recent Yellowstone explosion. We urge as many people possible to move inland and away from the coasts. This is a state of world emergency, but I think everyone knows that. So my dear citizens, please be kind, be hopeful, and please take care of each other. The queen sends her warm regards but is unable to communicate through the wireless systems. And" England had paused to breathe. "We pray for our American family who have been hit by Yellowstone and hope this message is able to get to them. Be safe. Be calm. And please carry on." Arthur stopped.

"And that is BBC news signing out" the news cast clipped off.

———

Matthew pulled his coat closer as he checked the first rabbit trap. He had remembered crying hysterically holding Alfred after that last message to the world. Ever since then the power grids had gone down. He hadn't talked or seen Arthur or Francis for months. 'Be safe' He thought maybe he was safe here in the woods away from any part of the world, but he knew his people weren't. Anarchy had infected every inch of society. And he had no way of helping that. He had stopped crying months ago there wasn't really any point to it and any tear he had just dried up. Yet, sometimes he would wake up to feeling wetness on his arm. It wasn't his tears but Alfred's. He would see big tears slide down his brother's face and couldn't help but wonder if maybe somehow Alfred knew just a little about what happening around them. So he would still talk normally to Alfred tell him anything and everything about his day.

He checked another trap. It was empty again.

Maybe he was insane. Matthew didn't feel crazy but then again most crazy people didn't know they were crazy. It felt as though his days were filled with him teetering on the edge of sanity talking to brother who would never answer. Matthew shrugged it didn't matter at least talking to Alfred made him feel not so very alone.

He checked the last trap and inwardly cheered. It did have a rabbit. That was good at least they wouldn't have to eat more tuna tonight.

He picked up his cane and slowly made his way back to the cabin.

He entered excitedly telling Alfred how his traps finally worked properly and how happy he was not to have to eat tuna and he even complained a little about his dam leg. Matthew hated complaining out loud to Alfred only because he remembered his brother never liked it when he was awake but then again Matthew was feeling tired and sad that day and only one to tell was his brother.

A few hours later Matthew was cleaning up the rest of He and Alfred's dinner and that's when he heard it a scream and a gunshot.

**Be warned this story is going to get dark. I just want to make sure y'all know. **


	3. Blood

**Again dark chapters ahead some gore and such. **

He couldn't go fast enough. After hearing such a terrible scream and gun shot, he prayed no one was actually hurt. He made his way as fast as possible toward the sound. The last thing he wanted was to see his citizens killing each other. But in this dark time, he wouldn't put it past them. Everyone was angry cold and hungry. People would fight over food, over coal, over every thing.

When he made it to the scene he knew he was to late by the woman's blood was already pooling around her. Light from his lantern reflected off of the crimson substance. He recognized the woman. He fell to his knees. Amanda had just lost another parent. Why was she even out here? He looked and to the side he saw a man holding a gun and a basket that was obviously not his was staring at him with a sickening look on his face.

"You killed her. You killed her. Why?" Matthew's broken voice rang out over the cold snow.

"It was meant to be a warning shot but I missed. Hit her head instead." The man shrugged not caring. "At least I got her stuff."

Matthew cried out and tried to throw a punch at the man, but he was to distraught to aim it right as the man caught it.

"Woah now let not injure the merchandise." The man noticed Matthew's leg how it was looked crooked and wrong, "Well more that ya already have."

"What." Matthew said in a shock

The man didn't answer just hoisted Matthew up like a sack of flour and started walking towards the light from Matthew's cabin.

His cabin. The cabin that held Alfred.

"No let go let go!" Matthew screamed. Kicking punching, but to no avail.

The cabin door opened just as it always did creaking loudly. The man practically threw Matthew down. Landing on his wrist, which immediately started aching, Matthew scrambled toward his brother putting himself between Alfred and the man.

"Don't touch him." He said as threateningly as possible.

"Ha That Isaac guy was right there is a boy and a vegetable up here." The man said.

Matthew now knew something happened to the camp. Isaac would never willfully tell a man like this where Matthew and Alfred were located.

"He is not a vegetable." He yelled. "What did you do to them."

"Just my job." The man said dismissively. He pointed his gun lazily at Alfred's head. "I suggest you shut your trap. This thing still loaded."

Matthew quieted immediately breathing hard. The man got close to his face and whispered. "Hands now."

Matthew held his hands up carefully. "Please don't hurt him. Please." He begged as the man grabbed zip ties from his pocket and tied Matthew hands then legs together.

"Don't worry your little head blonde. As long as you behave your brother is gunna be just fine." The man then also tied Alfred up although there really was no point considering the boy was unconscious. "Now blonde listen up. We are going on little trip down this mountain so you shut your lip while I carry you and I won't shoot your brother. Got it?".

Matthew nodded. He couldn't breathe. His eyes blurred with confused mist as the man picked him and his brother off the ground. Heading down the mountain, Matthew tried to reach his arms out to steady his brother's head which was flopping all over place because of the rough man.

———-

The camp was empty absolutely deserted. Matthew knew the signs of a fight when he saw one.

"What did you do with them."

"What did I say about lip boy.?"

"We are already down the mountain you only said to be quiet down the mountain." Matthew argued back.

The man huffed and muttered, "stupid kid." Under his breath.

"My guys took care of them some of them are going the same place you are."

"Which is where?" Matthew asked.

"Trust me you will find out." The man said as he approaches a old pick up truck. In the Truck, was another male who was chewing what looked like tobacco.

"You got the last one Ben." The skinny man asked.

Ben shrugged and put Matthew and Alfred into the truck-bed.

"Got the vegetable of his brother too."

"Why the hell are we taking someone who can't work." The tobacco man asked.

"Easy to control the cripple kid if we got his brother." Ben said again shrugging.

"Oh well that makes sense. But wow a cripple and his veggi brother why do we always get the weird ones" the skinny man said. Ben just hummed and got into the truck.

"Let's just get out of here."

Matthew didn't squirm as the skinny man chained him and Alfred to the bed of the truck.

The man smirked at him. "Got a problem buddy." He picked Alfreds head up and looked at it. "Dam he really is a vegetable."

"Don't touch him." Matthew growled.

The man sneered, "I'll touch him however I like kid. Someone ought to shut you up." The man grabbed Matthew's neck and took his own bandanna and stuffed it into Matthew's throat.

"Derek! Let's get a move on" Ben called from the front of the truck.

Derek left Matthew chocking on the cloth.

"Yeah yeah I am coming."

They drove off in to the darkness.


	4. Held

**WARNING NON-SEXUAL NUDITY and some violence. In this chapter**

It took several hours to get to wherever they were going. Cold wind blew over the two brothers. Matthew could see Alfred unconsciously shivering. He couldn't move closer to help.

'God Why is this happening' he thought angrily. When they stopped, Ben and Derek pulled the two up. Around them was what looked like an old abandoned fair ground. It was lighten by a mix of torches and lanterns. four long trailers stood to Matthew's left. The whole place smelled like a farm and something that Matthew regrettably recognized, death.

"I found a old chair thing for the coma kid." Derek called bringing a rusty wheelchair up. Ben roughly dropped Alfred into the chair, and threw Matthew down into the snow.

Ben clipped Matthew ties.

"Get up." He ordered.

Matthew looked fearfully from Alfred to Derek and tried to stand. As he did so he removed the gage that Derek had stuffed into his mouth.

"Where are we. Why did you.." Matthew was interrupted.

"Shut it. Here is the deal. You're at our camp. You are gonna be put to work eventually. I don't know where and I don't care. You just got to look halfway strong and whoever can afford ya can have ya." Ben leered over him. "Welcome to human trading post three"

Matthew looked in horror at the two men. Human trafficking. huMMAN TRAFFICKING. He just got kid napped and was going to be sold like a piece of meat to the highest bidder.

"But money doesn't even exist anymore." He begged hopping maybe just maybe this was a dream.

"Naw but trade does." Ben answered.

Matthew dropped like a rock next to his brother grabbing his limp hand.

"No please..no" this wasn't happening this couldn't be happening.

"Sorry kid but I told you to get up." Ben said sounding not the least bit sorry. Matthew looked up Derek was threateningly leaning over his brothers head. He got up as best he could.

"Good. Now let's get you ready." Ben said, "Clothes off now."

Matthew went red.

"Wha.."

"How else are buyers gunna tell if you're strong." Ben said indifferently.

Matthew out of the corner of his eye could see Derek gripping the back of Alfred's neck.

So there in the cold, Matthew slipped off his cloths. Never before had he felt so humiliated. The harsh winds ate at his bare skin.

"Hey Ben should we strip this one too.?" Derek asked gesturing to Alfred.

Matthew ears turned red out instead of embarrassment he felt anger.

"Don't you dare." He whispered his voice cracking.

"It's fine blonde. There no need to strip him it's not like he is gunna be working anyway." Ben answered.

"Just get them inside buyers are going to be showing up any minute."

——-

Matthew and Alfred were thrust into a room filled to the brim with other naked men. The people would look suspiciously at the two. Matthew kept his distance.

He knelt in front of Alfred. He rubbed his brother's arm trying to fight the bitter cold.

"Hey bro. It going to be okay we are going to get out of here. I promise." That moment looking at his brother's forever closed eyes, Matthew never felt so angry at a citizen in his life. How dare they do this, how dare the hurt others. How dare they threaten Alfred.

A few of the pitiful prisoners scampered away from them. Matthew must have had a very scary look on his face.

"ALRIGHT NOW EVERYONE LINE UP." Ben yelled entering the trailer.

Everyone fearfully ran into a line except Matthew. He was still hanging onto Alfred.

"That includes you blonde." Derek said pushing Matthew into the line and then rolling Alfred next to him.

"Alright come on Mister. Walkner". Ben called. Mister. Walkner walked up so a brown haired boy standing next to Matthew. He watched as Derek and Ben showed off the boys muscles and boasted that the kid could left heavy weights. A quick deal was made. And the man walked off with the boy in chains. Matthew was sick. He knew he might throw up but he stayed a still as possible when Ben and a man who looked like some kind of Mafia leader walked up to them.

"Just brought this kid in today. Mr. Banks. But you don't worry about rebellion at all. That vegetable over there is his brother he would do anything to protect him." Ben sold as Derek lifted Matthew's arms a moved him like a doll. "See he not even fight me at all. The only draw back is he got a bad leg but it should be right for the job your looking for him to do" Derek added.

Me. Banks looked intrigued.

"I will give you ten guns for the both of them." He said, "What is your name boy."

Matthew looked at the man. 'Yep definitely Mafia' he thought his skin burning still from when Derek had touched him. "Matthew." He answered.

"So these men tell me Matthew you would do anything for your brother. It that right?" Mr. Banks asked.

"If you promise not to hurt him." Matthew said. "I will do anything."

"Would you kill for him." Mr. Banks asked.

Matthew didn't hesitate. Killing was something he had already done for Alfred during the war.

"Yes". He answered.

Mr. Banks nodded. "We have a deal gentlemen."

"I thought you wanted a dishwasher not an assassin." Derek look confused.

"It never hurts to make sure I can expect loyalty." Mr. Banks said. "So deal?"

"Deal," Ben and Derek said in unison.

They grabbed Matthew and chained him. Mr. Banks grabbed Alfred's chair and rolled him out dragging Matthew along.


	5. Witch

**Warning some sexual harassment in this chapter but don't worry it doesn't get to graphic. I don't show anything but things happen. **

Mr. Bank's home was more like a fortress. There were armed guards everywhere. He had dragged Matthew up the stairs and had Alfred get brought up by one such guard.

"This is you and Your brother's room. You will get cleaned up and get some rest as soon as you wake up you will be told what you will be doing. That bed in the corner is a medical cot so We have a nurse on sit she will take care of Alfred while you work. Got it. There are clothes in the dresser." Mr. Banks said.

Matthew nodded wordlessly.

"Oh and Matthew that nurse has access to weaponry so don't try anything stupid." He added closing the door.

——-

Matthew fell to his knees. It was to much it was just to much. He couldn't do anything. He couldn't get them out. He couldn't save Alfred. He couldn't stop the stupid war that caused all of this. Matthew felt wet tears roll down his face. His smiled just when he thought he had cried his last here they were.

"Yeah Al. I gunna stop crying now" he couldn't cry in front of Alfred coma or not, but he couldn't stop.

He lifted himself up and went into the bathroom. There was a shower. With a shock Matthew turned the tap and discovered it actually worked. So he showered. The filth over the last months was washed away. When he got out and dried off he stared at his reflection. He had barely remembered what he looked like under the dirt. After finding simple dress shirt and some slacks in the closet, he then started the difficult time it was to wash Alfred. He carefully stripped Alfred of his clothes and placed him in the cool bath. Alfred looked much better clean. Matthew looked again and found some Pjs in the closet. When he did, he nearly cried again. They were Captain America Pjs.

"Al look. He is your favorite right." He held up the Pjs to his unresponsive brother. He knew if Alfred has any consciousness at all he would be cheering in his dreams.

Matthew got Alfred in the pjs and onto the cot in the corner. He then laid down next to Alfred and fell immediately to sleep.

——-

"Wake up." Mr. Banks smooth Italian accent broke Matthew out of his dream. With Mr. Banks stood a woman.

"Hello?" Matthew said.

"You must be Matthew. I am Sherry. I will be watching after Alfred today." Sherry may of been wearing nursing clothes, but she spoke like a general.

"Come with me. I will show you your job." Mr. Banks ordered. Matthew nodded and followed.

As they made their way down the hall, Mr. Banks noticed Matthew's walk was off.

"You always walk like that?" He asked.

"Yes, but it is usually better if I have something to lean on." Matthew responded.

Mr. Banks huffed. "Well I shall find you cane then."

They had arrived at the kitchen.

"This is the kitchen. As you can see we have many cooks. You are not to speak to them. This is a sink. I hope you know how to do dishes.?" Mr. Banks pressed.

"Yes."

"Then get to it. I am having guests today so expect a bunch of dishes. If you break one your brother will pay for it."

"Yes."

"That's a good boy Mattie."

Matthew bristled slightly. Only Alfred and Papa where allowed to call him Mattie. It made him feel sick when Mr. Banks did it.

With that last statement Mr. Banks left.

———

Matthew had spent 9 hours doing dishes. By the time he made it back to Alfred his legs felt like jello. He did take the time to make sure Alfred hadn't been hurt while he was gone. Sherry had actually done a okay job it seemed even if she was ready to kill his brother at any second. Matthew wrapped his arms around Alfred. And fell asleep.

————

Two months. It had been two months of Matthew washing dishes. Two months felt like two years. Matthew felt as though he lost everything that made him well him. He was just a washing machine operating on Auto pilot until he was able to get back to his brother and finally sleep.

It was time to sleep now and something awful had happened again. Matthew shut his eyes he didn't want to remember.

———

He had been minding his own business. Just washing listening to the cooks tease him. He couldn't respond back. He had done once before and had come back to find Alfred with a very large bruise on his arm. He had been ordered not to talk to the cooks so if he disobeyed he quickly knew the consequences.

The cooks wouldn't never stop. They were mostly females who would send over crud suggestions his way. It was like they had never gotten to see a guy before.

But the teasing whispering was getting louder. That when he felt is a hand on his arm.

"Hey Matthew." A girl draped her other arm over him. "You look tired. Take a break huh."

Matthew didn't respond. 'Just keep washing" he thought.

"Carrie he can't talk remember." Another cook piped up.

"Well what I want to do doesn't require talking."

Matthew cheeks burned he wanted to her tell to knock it off. He wasn't a toy to be played with, but for Alfred's sake he kept quiet.

"Aww he looks so cute all blushing like that" Carrie said massaging his arm.

'Please stop please make it stop please.' Matthew begged in his mind.

"Carrie stop if boss catches you. You are so dead." The other cook pipped up.

Carrie waved her hand dismissively.

"Hey Matthew look over here Matthew." She whined.

Matthew looked up surprised. Carrie leaned on him. "You So Dam got" She said. And then happened she kissed him. Hard. It felt like fire. He held himself as still as possible as Carrie just kept on kissing him. He felt sick. He couldn't take it anymore. He pushed her away. "Stop." He whispered.

"Uh oh Mattie. You weren't supposed to do that." Carrie whined.

———

When Matthew got to the room that night Alfred had two bruises on his arm. The sick feeling didn't leave as he ran to the bathroom. He puked. His lips burned. His arm burned. So he laid down next to Alfred, and cried. That was his life. He waked up when to the kitchen and listen the constant teasing.

Today he was back in the kitchen wash wash wash. It was like a mantra over and over. Every once in a while his would feel something burning wet on his neck or arm. Little explosions from the cooks around him. If Carrie was there, it would be worse. She would get in his personal space. She would grab his butt and act playful, but Matthew only felt burning pain every time. He couldn't stop her so he didn't. He know one day she might grab him in the hallway and take him to her room. She would threaten it. All the time. Every day. It was terrifying.

And one night it happened. He had been going back to the room when he saw her Carrie standing right outside of it.

"Hi Matthew." She said flirtation pressed into her voice.

Matthew looked at her in fear.

"You know why I'm here right.?" She said teasingly.

Matthew turned around ready to runaway from her.

"That's Alfred isn't. It that room back there." Carrie said.

Dam she got him. She would tell Mr. Banks he had spoken to her and then and then. Matthew didn't want to think about it. Carrie reached out and grabbed Matthew arm.

"So are you coming or not."

He allowed himself to be guided to the witches room.

It was pink.

"We can talk in here." She said. "I won't tell unless of course you are a bad boy huh"

"Please don't do this." He resorted begging. He couldn't do it. He couldn't do it.

"Sorry honey, but it has been to long since my last romance. I think we deserve the fun right." Carrie taunted.

"No...please." Matthew cried.

"Come here Matthew. We are gunna play a little game." Carrie said smoothly.

When Matthew got back to the room that night he threw up again. And then again. And one last time. He leaned against the sink. Every inch of him burned. He could still feel her fingers on his back. He ran out to Alfred.

"Al please...Please wake up please...I Can't do anymore. Please" he collapsed against the bed.

"Please Alfred. Please just wake up. Come on. You the hero right...please Al I need you. God Al why can't you just be my big Brother again." He sobbed. "Please."

That's where he fell asleep exhausted with the darkness cold and uncaring surrounding him.

**Oof That was intense to write. Thing shall get not as dark from here hopefully**.


	6. Saved

"You idiot you absolute idiot." Romano yelled at his older brother.

"What is wrong Romano. I got us in the house didn't I." Feliciano comforted him.

"Yes Yes that's great. But did you forget in your grand plain to pretend to be mafia gambling geniuses that WE DON'T KNOW HOW TO GAMBLE" Romano yelled.

"You don't know how to gamble but I do." Feliciano placated.

"Were is Mary's heaven did you learn how to gamble." Romano said shocked.

"Germany taught me ve." Feliciano answered.

"That DAM potato eater." Romano muttered.

"Ah don't be that way Romano. Germany is the one who was able to get us all the way to Canada's place. We are going to catch the bad guy ve and then eat lots of pasta." Feliciano rambled.

Romano rubbed the bridge of his nose. They indeed had come all the way here to stop the bad guy as it were. After everything collapsed Italy was in fact the only country that was able to retain their government. The mafia had been very disappointed by this and sent its important members else were places that were in total anarchy places that they could control. Romano was here to stop one such members. Gaston Banks a man who was admittedly low on the mafia totem poll but could get them to other higher officials.

"Roma there's a child in here."

"WHAT" Romano turned to see Feliciano staring into the eyes of a little boy who couldn't have been more than five.

"Hi I am Jake. You are like Matthew" the little one announced.

"What did you say." Feliciano asked. "You are very cute Jake."

"Thank you." Jake sounded proud. "You are like Matthew. he is my friend. He taught me how to play hockey, but don't tell Mr. Banks he might get mad."

Feliciano and Romano looked at each other confused.

"Who the hel... I mean heck is Matthew." Romano had to hold back his usual language in front of the little Jake.

"Is He Italian too.?" Feliciano asked.

"No but he is like you. Cause he is weird in the same way you are." Jake said.

"WEIRD" Romano guffawed.

"Hush Romano. Can you tell use about your friend Matthew". Feliciano asked.

"Sure. He washes the dishes. He was here when I came in. He said to stick with him. I did. He saved me from the mean girl. She kept pushing me down on the floor and Matthew convinced her to stop. He doesn't like the cooks at all. I don't to they are mean. He fixed my scrapped knee. I asked how long he been here he said two years. That's crazy right. He walks kind of funny but I trust him a lot. He smells like my mom did. Like maple syrup. Sometimes he lets me sit in the room with him and Alfred. I have to be quiet though. Alfred is sick. He never wakes up. I asked Matthew why but he said not to worry so I don't. He tell me stories about cool hockey players before the war. They are like super hero's isn't that awesome." Jake had to take a breath he was very excited to talk about his quiet friend.

"Wait Jake is Matthew here now." Romano interrupted. He had just put two and two together glancing at Feliciano and he could tell his brother had done the same.

"Yeah he never leaves." Jake said.

"Can we meet him?" Feliciano asked.

"Yeah he probably just got back to the room so sure" Jake hopped down and lead the two Italians to Matthew's room.

"Hey before you go in.?" Jake asked.

"Yes?" Romano said.

"Are you going to make Matthew happy again. He is never happy and I don't think that's good." Jake asked.

Feliciano knelt down. "Of course we are ve."

"Ok then." Jake ran off. "Bye"

"So you think it is really him?" Feliciano asked.

"Are there any other Matthews we know who likes maple syrup and has a brother named Alfred." Romano pushed the door open.

Reveling a Man they all knew as Canada. the Canada That the world thought had died. He was skinny too skinny. And Romano could see a haunted look in the boy's eyes. But yet there he was alive in front of them.

"Romano? Italy?" Matthew looked a little more than shocked.

"CANADA" Feliciano ran into Matthew wrapping him into a big hug. He felt Matthew stiffen to his touch but the boy quickly relaxed.

"You are here. You are actually here." Matthew cried.

Romano didn't know what to do. He moved around the two hugging nations and sat down next to to

"America." Romano breathed shocked .

"He is really alive." Feliciano shouted joyously.

"Yeah we are both alive." Matthew breathed. "Damaged but alive."

———

It took them all night to come up with a plan. Matthew told them what Banks had done to him. He left out the bigger traumatic experiences. Romano has notice that the boy had been holding his brother's hand in a death grip. Feliciano was livid.

They all decided the would be best for the Italian brother's secret ani mafia to handle Banks and the their first point of action was to get Canada and America out of there.

"England and France are going to blow a fuse." Feliciano said still staring unbelievably at the two nations.

"Wait they are alive. Papa and Arthur are alive" Matthew said. He hugged his brother closely.

"Did you hear that Al. They are alive.." Matthew started crying. "They're alive."

Feliciano tried to hug Matthew again but when he saw the boy unconsciously flinch he stopped immediately. The Italian brother's watched as Canada fell asleep hugging and crying to America.

"They are alive."


	7. Hopelostandfound

**WARNING SOME HARASSMENT AND TALK ABOUT MATTHEWS EXPERIENCES**

Feliciano and Romano stayed with Matthew the rest of the night.

"We just need to get these two out of here." Romano said watching the sleeping North Americans.

"And Jake. He is just a little kid did you see the way Canada acted when I hugged him. Something or maybe a lot of things have happened to him that he is not telling us." Feliciano looked down, I don't want to see that little boy have the same expression Matthew has."

"Okay Okay, but we still have to wait until tomorrow night. That's when The bastard will be back with the boat." Romano whispered back.

———-

Feliciano was rudely awoken by a pillow to the head.

"Hey Romano why did you." When he looked he saw it had been Canada the had thrown the fluffy weapon.

"Canada??"

"Shh go to the restroom Romano is already in there you need to hide Mr. Banks is coming in for his weekly Pep talk." Matthew used air quotes around pep talk.

"Ve." Feliciano said running into the restroom were he noticed his brother in the corner looking extremely grumpy.

———-

"Ah Mattie my boy. You are awake." Mr. Banks

"Yes".

"Good good. I recently have come into contact with one of our cooks."

"I didn't talk to them. I promise" Matthew pleaded.

"Oh that's what she said yes. You know Carrie correct."

Matthew couldn't tell if Mr. Banks knew what Carrie had been doing to him for last two years but nonetheless he kept his face clear of emotions.

"Yes I know her."

"Well the dear seems to have caught an eye for you. You should be happy she is our best cook. But Matthew a boy your age should be married by now anyhow and I don't want to lose Carrie's wonderful cooking, so I gave her my word. She can marry you. In fact, you aren't mine anymore but hers. So you aren't needed to wash dishes anymore. You have a wedding to plan." Me. Banks gave him a smile, "give me A smile boy you are going to make a fine husband."

Matthew met his gaze. He face pale.

"You know now don't you. She told you what happens with us."

"I don't know what you mean boy." Mr. Banks swirled out of the room allowing the vile girl to walk through.

"Matthew darling. We have plans to talk about." Carrie stepped forward.

"Get away from me." He shook.

"Oh dear. We known each other for ages. You really want to start cowering away again." Carrie grabbed at Matthew's face making him look at her. "Matthew we are going to make the best family. You, me and Uncle Alfred and what ever kind of kids we have."

"Al..Fred."

"Oh yes don't you know you two come in a set. I have you as a two for one deal." She laughed. "Oh and far as those two Italians." Matthew looked towards the bathroom. "The two were being held down by two guards. Romano was kicking as hard as he could and Feliciano was staring fearfully at Matthew.

"Jake is a bit a blabber mouth. Now isn't he" she chuckled. Matthew withered.

"Please...Carrie not this anything but this" He looked at her tears in his eyes. "I can't marry you."

"If you value Alfred's well being, you will. Matthew my dear you captured my heart as soon as I saw you two years ago. I want to own you completely and forever." Carrie stroked the side of his face causing an unholy shutter to rack through him.

"Tie those two the water pipe in the corner." She pointed to the Italians. "Matthew my dear floor now."

Matthew flinched at her orders but sat down anyway his leg stuck in a uncomfortable position.

Carrie pulled out a pair of a handcuffs.

"I think you remember these?"

Matthew shuttered again.

"Don't worry we just need to make sure you don't get cold feet Kay" Carrie knelt down and hand cuffed Matthew to Alfred's bed. She leaned in with a smirk.

"Good night love." She said kissing him.

Feliciano nearly cried after seeing Matthew face after the woman pulled away. He was completely defeated.

"You Bitch!" Romano screamed.

Carrie looked at him. "Oh no no my dear intruders. You don't talk to me like that."

Matthew's eyes flashed with knowing fear. Carrie walked past Alfred incapacitated form and scratched him with her long pink fingernails. "I will do worse if you call me that again"

Matthew pulled against his handcuffs.

"Please Carrie. Don't hurt him. Please I will do anything." Matthew's cries went unheard as the Burnett left.

——-

It had been two hours since the Carrie incident. Matthew hadn't said a word since. Romano and Feliciano locked eyes. They knew the poor boy was feeling the utmost shame and embarrassment right now.

At last Feliciano couldn't take anymore.

"Canada?"

Matthew didn't respond.

"Canada." Feliciano tried again. "Matthew?"

That shook Matthew out of his daze he looked at Feliciano. The Italian had never used Matthew's real name before.

"That woman she is bad ve?" Feliciano said gently, "She has hurt you?"

Matthew looked at the man fearfully.

"Yes." He said whisperingly.

"She has done bad things like touch you when you didn't want to be?" Feliciano asked again he could feel Romano get even angrier behind him.

"Yes." Matthew sounded utterly destroyed.

"It has gotten worse then just kissing ve?" Feliciano said sadly.

"So much worse." Matthew sobbed. "So so much worse."

"How many times has this happened piccolo?" Feliciano pressed gently.

"I lost count last year." Matthew voice cracked. "I asked her I begged her...she wouldn't stop god she wouldn't stop."

"Shhh breathe Matthew breathe." Feliciano soothed. "It not your fault. I promise you it's not your fault."

"I should have fought her but Alfred she wouldn't stop threatening him...and I shouldn't be like this. I'm a nation this isn't...Am I even a nation anymore. All these people they are my citizens right aren't they supposed to like me not do this.."

Matthew sagged against the bed frame.

"Matthew this is not your fault. Your are a fine nation. A wonderful brave one at that. You are not alone. Citizens have free will they do with as they choose. It is not your fault. Ve you are not the only nation who knows this pain" Feliciano felt Romano stiffen.

"Feli?" He said.

"It's okay. He needs empathy right now." Feliciano gave his brother hand a reassuring squeeze.

"Matthew I know what you've been through. In fact many years ago, something like this happened to me. It took a while but I figured out something. I could let myself be comforted. Romano, Germany and Someone else helped me through it. You want to know who that someone else was."

"Who?" Matthew tearfully asked.

"Your brother." Feliciano sighed, "He talked me out of doing the unthinkable. Matthew I know Alfred isn't awake but hear me you are not alone and you are not marrying that woman. Germany has orders to come in guns blazing. He is going to get us out." Feliciano gazed into Matthew's eyes, "you are not alone."

Matthew looked as if some large Weight had been lifted from his skinny shoulders.

"Thank you." He whispered. "Thank you".


	8. TheWindsOfChange

It took Germany only two hours to get to the mansion. After Italy and Romano hadn't arrived at the time they said they would, he had been sick with worry. He may of went a little over board with the fire power though. The little Italian man had surrendered immediately after seeing Ludwig's three tanks. He had run into a little boy named Jake who had quickly told him about how his new Italian friends had been caught and held captive in his friend Matthew's room.

——-

Romano, Feliciano held their breath as the door opened. Matthew seemed to out of it to care.

"GERMANY HELP THEY TIED US TO A PIPE" Feliciano yelled.

Ludwig nodded. 'Germany help' had practically become Italy's hello to him. But that's when he noticed Canada. 'Canada alive.' He thought running over to the would be teen.

"Don't touch him basterdo." Romano called out.

"Roma is right. I will handle Matthew. Get me out off this pipe ve" Feliciano said. Ludwig simply nodded knowing if both the Italy's agreed on something they were usually right about it. He cut the ties and watched as Feliciano rushed over to Canada and Romano checked on America. 'Wait America alive too" the nation seemed to be unconscious.

"Dam that woman she drew blood." Romano whispered looking at what looked like scratch marks on America's arm.

Feliciano was currently whispering calming words to Matthew as he gently lowered the boy's hands out of the vile cuffs.

"Germany we need to leave but there a little boy who.."

"It alright Italy. I already found Jake. He is safely in one of the tanks." Ludwig answered.

————

Matthew didn't quite realize what was happening. It felt like a dream. He could make out Alfred being carried by what looked like Germany, when He looked down noticed warm olive arms were carrying him as well. The warm person sounded a bit like Romano but he had never seen Romano use such a kind tone. He closed his eyes everything was to much to handle so he let himself fall into a dream.

———

When Matthew awoke he knew even before he opened his eyes that he was on a boat.

"Alfred!?" He jumped up.

"Woah little bird. It is okay Alfred is right next ya just like his awesome self." A calm hand steadied Matthew and let him see that Alfred had really been next to him.

"Prussia?" Matthew asked.

"Yep it is my awesome self." Prussia looked different. Still red eyed and nuts but Matthew could see something was missing.

"Your ear!" Matthew exclaimed.

"Hey don't flip out. I just lost it is all. Volcanoes suck. It is healing alright well except the hearing part." Gilbert laughed. "Hell I could say the same shocked tone about your leg. Ludwig said it was pretty wonky. He was surprised you still have it."

"Yeah me too I guess." Matthew said. "Were are we.?"

"On the most awesome boat ever the Gilboat 007" Gilbert announced.

"It is not your boat it's mine and we are not calling it that." Ludwig appeared from the upper deck.

"Aww but Luddy it is a cool name." Gilbert whined.

Ludwig ignored him. "We are heading to the Italian boarder as we speak."

Matthew looked a little concerned

"What wrong." Ludwig asked.

"Is it safe?" He asked

"Safest place in the world to be right now. I mean the sun not exactly shining but that is what oil lamps are for." Gilbert answered.

"It is safe." Ludwig confirmed.

Matthew glanced down at Alfred.

"Thank you." He said.

It was the least Ludwig could do. Matthew and Alfred safe and alive. They had no idea how much their Absence had effected the world. The two had been at the top of a long list of dead countries. Ludwig sighed them being alive had set free some of the tightness in his chest. It had given him hope. So he sat down next to Italy and watched with a warm feeling in his heart as he saw Canada teach Gilbert slowly to help feed America bits of a cinnamon roll.

"They'll be okay" Italy said to him.

Ludwig sighed he hoped so.

—————————-

England sat on the edge of the pier. Worried. the Italian and German brothers were due back by now. He couldn't see past the lanterns that hung on the pier.

"Don't worry." A French voice spoke behind them. "They are strong they will be here soon Angleterre."

"I hope you are right you twat." England muttered. I hope your are right.

"Wait Arthur look I see something. Oui it is a boat its them I know it." France declared.

Together France and England cheered as the boat slowly pulled in.

Matthew felt a bit sea sick as the boat slowed to a stop. He helped Romano put Alfred in a nice wheelchair the had found in the medical bay. They had even found a cane for Matthew. Feliciano had practically forced Matthew to take Tylenol after here he hadn't been using pain medication at all for his leg.

Before they exited the boat Ludwig paused. He turned backward to Matthew. "Canada be prepared. Some nations have come to Welcome us home." He said,

"What do you...oh my god." Matthew spotted France and England. They for a moment just stared unbelievably at each other.

"Matthieu.!" France yelled.

"Papa?" Matthew ran out of the boat toward his family. Romano pushing Alfred not far behind. For that moment Matthew didn't feel the usual pain that came from his leg when he ran. No all he felt was his papa and Arthur's arms wrapping around him.

They stayed there for what felt like hours. When they finally let go it was because Romano had tapped France and England's shoulders quietly and gestured them toward Alfred.

England who had already been balling his eyes out listened as Matthew tearfully explained that Alfred hadn't woken up at all since Yellowstone.

France gripped Matthew's shoulder as he explained.

"He wouldn't wake up. I tried everything everything I can think. I don't know if I did a good job. I protected him...I tried to at least... I didn't let them hurt him...I promised I did everything I could...I..I." Matthew broke down in Frances arms.

"Shhh it alright little Mattie it's alright you did well you did so very well. Francis whispered softly.

England put out his hand and grasped Matthew's. Still staring at Alfred's comatose form.

"You did so wonderfully Matthew. He is alive. You brought him home and he is alive and you are alive." He said

Romano knew what he had to do. He unbuckled Alfred from the chair and lifted him into England's arms. France and Matthew sunk down joined England as he embraced his once colony. Together they cried.


	9. Santa

The calmness and safety of Italy's house was something much to be desired.

"You DAM POTATO EATER!"

That is when Romano was asleep.

Matthew awoke to the Italian's yelling from down stairs.

"Well it looks like morning again Al" He said absentmindedly. He looked at his brother laying next to him and then he realized someone else was in bed with them.

"Arthur?" He looked to his other side and sure enough Francis was there too. "Papa?."

He remembered that the two nations hadn't let go of him and Alfred when they got back to the house.

Relaxing back into the pillows, he watched Alfred's chest move up and down.

"Hello Matthew."

He realized with a start that he had been unwittingly staring at Arthur.

"You're awake!"

"Yes. So are you. Good morning lad. How about we wake the sleeping frog?" Arthur got a mischievous look on his face. "Remember how you used to wake his sleeping log up when you were little?"

Matthew nearly started laughing out loud.

"Yes."

"Shall we get on with it then."

Arthur and Matthew quietly slipped from the bed grabbed two extra pillows.

"Ready. One, Two," Arthur whispered.

"Three."

On three, they lifted up the pillows a brought them down on the sleeping Frenchman. Who immediately shot up and subsequently fell off the bed.

"What Angleterre! Matthieu?" Francis exclaimed.

The two fell on the floor laughing.

"Oh Papa your face." Matthew laughed.

"Oui Oui It was very funny." France had a proper pout on his face.

"Ahh Matthew I haven't had a laugh like that in ages." Arthur declared.

Matthew smiled contently neither had he.

"Am I interrupting.?" Gilbert entered the room.

"Prussia What is up." Matthew asked.

"Ludwig asked me to check on Alfred and get him all situated in his chair and all that. Since I have a bunch of awesome medical experience." Gilbert answered.

"Also I have to check on your leg and your eye England."

"Right right lets get on with it." Arthur waved off Francis from helping him up.

As Matthew helped Gilbert with Alfred, he finally took the time to really look at England and France's appearance. Neither had come out of the war without injuries. England had a patch over his eye and France had a thin long scar marring his normally symmetrical features.

"What happened to your Eye Arthur?" He asked.

"Lost it just like how Gilbert lost his ear." Arthur said he looked down. "Now I really look like I did in the pirate days"

Francis gave a chuckle. "Well I think it brings out your eyebrows."

"Oh you wanker." Arthur exclaimed.

Matthew laughed they were fine. They were really fine.

"Well Alfred is all ready to go downstairs and there a lot of nations down there who want to see you too alive and safe." Gilbert said.

Matthew swallowed. He had been excited to see everyone okay but then again did they really want him to be okay. He knew some of them had probably fought against him in the war. He looked at Alfred comatose in the wheelchair would they be kind to him?

"Don't worry lad most of the people down there were on our side but there are a few that are going to be asking you a couple questions." Arthur put a arm on Matthew's shoulder.

Matthew sighed, "Okay." He followed Gilbert who rolled Alfred out the room.

"You saw that too. Or did I imagine it." Francis asked England.

"No I saw it for a moment. He flinched as soon as I got close." Arthur replied.

"What happened to our boy?" Francis said.

"I don't know but we will find out." Arthur whispered determination in his voice.

Together the nations followed Canada out.

————

Matthew glanced around at the nations around him. Arthur had been right most of them were either ones who had been on him and Alfred's side well except China who was standing awkwardly in the corner. But besides him he could see the German brothers Gilbert Ludwig, the Italian brothers. Hungry was there to holding Gilbert's hand a staring hopefully at Matthew. Poland and Switzerland were on the couch. They both looked completely dazed. Matthew realized with a shock that Estonia was in a wheelchair as well next to Poland. The poor guy was missing a leg. But the two people that had most of Matthew's attention were Sweden and Denmark who had literally run up to the nation with pleading eyes. He looked at them and knew.

"So you two want to talk first eh." He said allowed the two Nordics to lead him away.

———-

Matthew sat down in the corner on one of Italy's fluffy couches and glanced at the two Nordics they were staring at him desperately.

"What do you want to know?" He started.

"Everything." Denmark said. "I want to know everything."

"Was h' in pain" Sweden asked grasping Denmark's hand. "Was h' al'one."

"Yes but he wasn't alone trust me I didn't let him either of them the be alone." Matthew said.

The Nordics stared as Matthew began his story.

———-

It had been right after Yellowstone when the BBC cast last. Matthew was crying as he watched his Papa and Arthur switched off. He was trying to clean Alfred up. In the early months of his brother's coma the boy's nose would bleed at random times. Soft hands stopped him.

"I can clean Alfred okay. You go sit down." Norway had said.

Him and Finland had been stationed with Canada when the bombs had rained down. The bombs that hit Finland had put him in to that same state as Alfred now was because of Yellowstone. Norway hadn't been unscathed by the bombs either. He had a large burn mark on his cheek.

That night Matthew had heard what sounded like whimpers coming from the other room of the cabin. He investigated hoping it wasn't Alfred crying in his coma. But it wasn't it was Norway. Matthew saw Norway holding Finland crying softly.

"Norway?" He whispered.

"Canada go back to sleep." The Nordic warned.

"What's wrong." Matthew approached him.

"Nothing Nothing."

"I can tell it's more than just nothing." Matthew pressed.

Norway looked at him tears in his eyes. "There's a volcano under Iceland. He going to die. And...and I don't think Fin will be able to take another explosion. I don't even know if.. the..the others are alive and oh my god Iceland and Denmark and Sweden." Norway cried. He hugged Finland to his chest. Matthew wrapped both Nordics in his arms.

He didn't say anything. What could he say. He didn't know if Norway was right, so all he did was hold him.

Two days. It was two days when the Volcano under Iceland exploded. Norway immediately passed out on the floor. Matthew had hurried to get him conformable. He went to check on Finland instead of finding a comatose nation he found a very awake every in pain one. He quickly tried to grab a wash cloth there was blood everywhere it was dripping out of Finland nose and eyes. He had wiped the blood away if Finland had the strength to scream he probably would have.

"Sweden.?" A broken voice radiated out from the nation.

"It not Sweden its me Canada." Matthew said answered again as another seizure racking through Finland.

"Sweden.? Sweden.." Finland was crying.

Matthew held his hand and gave in.

"Yes?"

"Sweden. It hurts." A strangled breath came out of him.

"I know. I know. I am here." Matthew whispered.

"Sweden is Peter Okay. Is...is he"

Matthew didn't have a chance to comfort Finland as the Nordic had stopped breathing.

"Finland? Fin! No...no...Fin wake up..please..just breathe." It was no use the Nordic had taken his last breathe.

Norway had woken up again. He listened quietly as Matthew told him what happened. Matthew could see tears running down his eyes.

"Please..Matthew..take me to him." Norway had begged. The poor Nordic could barley stand the explosion had broken some of his ribs.

Matthew had helped him over to Finland's body.

"Hey Tino Hey." Norway had cupped Finland's face in his hands. "It is okay. Not in any pain anymore huh." Norway had bowed his head on Finland's chest. "I love you..know..that..right..I didn't say it a lot but I do I do." He cried listening to Finland's soundless heart.

Matthew had helped Norway bury Finland. They didn't have a lake to set the Viking on but they made a makeshift boat anyway and buried Finland in it.

After that Norway had gotten a fever. He wouldn't sleep though the Nordic would just stare at the fire in a daze.

Matthew would help him eat and would wipe sweat from the Nordic's brow.

"Matthew come here?" Norway had asked.

"Yes?"

"The volcano is going to explode again. The winds are telling me." Norway had told him. "I want you to give this to Denmark if you ever find him"

"But Nor."

"Promise me."

"Okay I...I promise." Matthew whispered taking Norway's gold hair clip.

"Good."

That night Norway was not wrong. The explosion had hit Norway's heart and again Matthew held a dead Nordic in his arms.

———

"I buried him right next to Finland. Just like him too with a boat and everything. I...I..am so sorry." Matthew cried.

Sweden and Denmark pulled Matthew into a hug.

"Thank you.. thank you so much Canada you have no idea." Denmark sobbed holding tightly to the gold cross Matthew had handed him.

"You were th're when I w'sn't" Sweden said wiping tears from his eyes. "Th'nk you so m'ch"

"Petter is okay." Denmark added. "He lost an arm but he is okay."

Matthew just cried.


	10. News

It took a while for Denmark and Sweden to stop crying. Matthew knew that the two had been in a lot of fights before but they seemed to hold on to each other like brothers. As the three headed back to the living room, Matthew wondered if Alfred had been awake if they would be like that holding on for dear life together. He shrugged he had already been holding on to Alfred like that. Would Alfred be the same? He brave brother would probably act as he always did through tragedy. Alfred would put that strained grin on his face and try and go out and do something about it.

They had made it back to living room. The Nordics quietly slipped behind the couch next to Estonia. Matthew found his brother's chair which Prussia had put next to a small love seat couch.

"I back Al." Matthew whispered under his breath to his sleeping brother.

The other nations around the room where staring at him expectedly. It was as if they were hoping that Alfred would jump out of that chair and tell them what to do. Matthew sighed. He had some big shoes to fill.

"So hi everyone. We are alive apparently. I would like to know how everyone is?" Matthew asked tentatively.

"We are a mess." Romano piped up.

"Aw Romano. It not all bad ve. Everyone is together see." Italy soothed.

"Not all of us." Switzerland whispered.

"Everyone stop!" Germany firmly got everyone's attention. "Canada is here. We all need to talk properly. We haven't had any time to figure out what is going on with everyone so we need to give a report. Treat this as a world meeting. I shall go first." Germany took a breath, "we were not as effected by the volcanoes at my place just the bombs. The sky is dark as it is across the world. We.." He coughed, "Gilbert survived as you can see. He lost an ear and I Was able to go through uninjured. Gilbert I will allow you to go."

Prussia scuffed at he brother saying he went through uninjured. "West you had to go into surgery your lung collapsed. Ugh vhatever. Anyway ja I lost a ear still hurts a bit and Hungry was able to get me out of a burning building which was pretty badass." He turned it over to Hungry as he said it.

Hungry was near tears. "We lost Austria. He...he kept going back into the house to get citizens out and it collapsed around him. I made it out mostly alright." Hungry cried, "He was playing that piano as the building collapsed." She again grabbed Prussia hand. He looked up to the ceiling avoiding tears.

"We shall go next." Denmark entered the conversation. "The Nordic nations are all but destroyed there are a few citizens in Sweden's and my places. Norge.. Norge and Finland and Iceland didn't make it. Their land got flooded..and.."

"And th'y d'ied. Ice went immediately. H' wasn't in pain. Sealand survived. H' lost a arm. Denmark went into cardiac ar'st. I passed out fr'm the ash. That is all." Sweden finished as Denmark broke down into tears again. Estonia's put a had on Denmark's back.

"I suppose it's my turn." He said. "I just woke up from the hospital a few days ago so I don't know much. I don't If the other Baltics survived I don't know anything except my leg hurts"

"Do you want more pain meds?" Prussia asked.

"No I want to be aware of what happening. I need to know what happened to them." Estonia answered.

Poland looked down. "I know what some of what happened if you need to hear it."

Estonia nodded.

"We were in Lithuania when the volcanoes went off. There was so much ash. Latvia couldn't breathe so Lithuania went out to go find some kind of oxygen for him. That was the last time I saw him." Poland shook. "Latvia still could barely breathe. I didn't know what to do. I know that like technically Russia was our enemy but I didn't know what to do and he was close by so I ran to Find him and like save Latvia. But I couldn't find him his country was in such ruin. By the time I got back Latvia had succumb to ash. He was dead. If Lithuania was there, he would have cried but he...he wasn't. I don't know were he is." Poland was shaking as a leaf.

Estonia reached out a hand in the Pol's shoulder.

Switzerland looked up realizing it was his turn. "There is Nothing for me to say. Liechtenstein is Gone. There is nothing to matter anymore." He said.

"I think that makes it my turn aru." China said. "I have already told Germany that I am not interested in fighting anymore wars. And I..I am sorry Canada. Me and your brother caused all of this didn't we." He rung his hands. "I didn't mean to let it get this far and...uh." China looked down in surprise to find a Canada hugging him.

"I know China. I am sorry too. You are not the only one at fault. we all let it get too far. Just tell me how you are right now. No need for apologies I already forgive you." Matthew whispered.

China sunk to his knees. "I don't know...Japan is gone. Russia is missing..no one has seen The Koreas." He started crying. "I am so sorry aru."

Matthew just held the older nation until his sobs quieted.

After helping China back up, Matthew faced the nations.

"I think we need a break. And Italy told me he made pasta so let's have some lunch. We will discuss how to fix this." He stood straighter, "and we will fix this. We will find the others. We try to clean up our home and we will make sure Another war like this never NEVER happens again. Now let's have some food everyone." Matthew finished. England nodded as the other headed to the kitchen where Italy had a big pot waiting. Romano arguably the most religious one among them had insisted they pray. It was a short prayer and Matthew felt a bit weird doing so but it certainly improved Romano's mood seeing everyone allowing him to do so. They all got their food and were soon ready to hear more news.


	11. DreamsAndDrowning

**There is a dream sexual assault scene in this one. Not super graphic but enough to be uncomfortable**

Italy swirled his pasta. It wasn't as good as he could usually make it because they didn't have real tomatoes just the canned kind. But it was pasta none the less. It was England and France's turn to go. England looked absolutely terrified of speaking, Italy pondered this he knew the England was in fact younger than him even if He himself didn't act it. Better to be cheerful, he thought. Being cheerful right now was very hard. Looking over at Canada, Italy could see the trauma signs so clearly. It was in the way he moved, the way he would look at his brother at every chance, the way he flinched if a nation got to close. Italy wondered if he should tell France and England what he and Romano had discovered. Italy is was brought back to the present by England accented voice beginning the discussion again.

"So My turn. Well I lost an eye. Um as far as the others. The Irelands and Whales were with us. They didn't survive." England shuttered. "And no one knows if Scotland did or not."

Matthew's eyes went to the ground in grief for his uncles.

"I think it's your turn to go Frog." England didn't seem like he could go on without crying and he was much to much of a gentleman to add more tears to this little powwow.

"Ah Oui I have survived although not without a horridly awful scar." France pointed at his face. "I was with Angleterre when the Volcanos blew. He was a mess but of course I was able to make sure that eye was taken care of. It was lucky Italy found us Oui." France nodded wrapping at arm around England's shoulder. England didn't push it away. The two needed each other at that moment.

Matthew nodded as it was now his turn. "Me and Al where able to survive but as you can tell America isn't exactly awake. He is in a coma. I don't know if he will wake up. Oh also I got a leg injured. It healed a bit wrong but I can still move it mostly." He looked at the countries around him. "That's it."

Germany ever the leader stood up. "Thank you for all the information. Me and Italy have to go tell tell his government all of this. Italy had agreed to help find more refugees and take in as many as possible. If we find more of us along the way you shall be informed. At this we shall take our leave enjoy your evening." He then stood and walked out with Italy not far behind.

"Roma." Italy stopped next to Romano for a moment.

"What is it Feli.?"

"Tonight Matthew is going to have nightmares. I know it. Take care of him." Italy answered.

Romano shifted his weight to another leg and crossed his arms. "Of course."

————

Italy wasn't wrong. That night England and France went to their own room needing some time to deal with the emotions of the day. Matthew had helped Prussia get Alfred in bed, but when he went to sleep himself the memories flooded him. It was as if he could feel The ghost of Carrie's hands on his spine and chest. The pain of when the guards would push him into the walls, the fear of finding Alfred dead in his room. He cried out in his sleep. He knew it was a dream but it was so real because the memory was one he knew well.

_He was in Carrie's room again curled into a ball in the corner knowing she was about exit her bathroom. He was so tired from working that day so tired._

_"Aw Matthew are you falling asleep on me." Carrie's flirtatious voice clawed into his ears. But she was right he did feel like passing out. He felt the woman's hand on his chest burning him. Carrie was holding something strange it looked like a needle. _

_"What is that?" He asked._

_"Just something to keep you awake." Carrie leaned against him pulling him into a kiss. He felt a sharp poke as whatever drug entered his blood stream. It currently made him awake but also not quite in control he could feel his limbs trimmer and everything looked so much brighter. _

_Carrie made him get up and come to her bed. He numbly laid down he knew what about to happen. He felt her unbuttoning his shirt and stripping him down. He felt her hands glide around his body making him feel things he didn't want to feel. He tried not to cry, but a few tears escaped. Carrie kissed them away making him cry even more. _

_"Please stop.." he mumbled knowing Carrie in her lust wouldn't listen. _

_"No honey. This way to much fun." She whispered kissing his neck. _

_After the horrid Affair was over Carrie would just leave him there exhausted and shamed handcuffed to the bed as she would go to clean up His clothes sometimes she would come back and instead of allowing him to leave would make him stay the whole night every once in while kissing him with burning lips. _

Matthew cried out and shot up in his bed hyperventilating. The dream so too real to painfully real.

The memories wouldn't stop pounding through his head. He barely registered the door opening.

"You need to breathe." At first Matthew thought it was Italy's voice but to was too harsh and jaded sounding. He looked up to see Romano crouching a few feet way from him. His chest felt like it was going to explode.

"Breathe." Romano said, "follow me." Matthew tried to breathe along with him.

Romano kept his face as calm as possible he remembered when Feliciano would wake up like this about three hundred years ago.

Matthew was hugging his knees so tightly his knuckles white from gipping his arms so hard.

"I am gonna get closer is that okay?" Romano asked gently.

All Matthew could do was nod slowly. Romano slowly approached making sure Matthew could still see his hands. Matthew was still hearing Carrie's silky terrifying voice when Romano sat down next to him he nearly jumped ten feet.

"It's okay. Just me Romano" the Italian soothed.

Matthew looked at him.

"I sorry I am

So sorry I...I"

"It's okay. You did nothing wrong." Romano answer, "How can I help?"

Matthew cringed. He felt bad for wake Romano up for not being able to handle it.

"Just please..Keep talking just don't leave." Matthew begged. Romano nodded.

"I am not going anywhere." He said Romano didn't know how to continue the conversation because Matthew looked to afraid to speak. Romano just told a story. It was a good story about a night in shining armor and slaying a dragon he kept telling Matthew such fairytales. Romano was a bit shocked that he even remembered half the stories Spain would tell him but he did and Matthew started to relax. The little nation reached out and hugged his brother as Romano kept spinning tails. Eventually Matthew fell back to sleep, but Romano stayed and kept talking through the night.

"Your brother is so brave you know that America. You need to awake up because me telling stories is not going to help him get through this only you can." Romano sighed at the sleeping American. He saw Feliciano quietly enter the room.

"How bad was it?" He asked, "I just got home but I didn't see you in your room so I just guessed you be in here ve?"

"Yeah it was bad really bad". Romano said.

"Ah" Feliciano sat down and leaned against the side of Canada's bed next to his brother.

"I am tired ve. The government is have problems finding a way to sail in all the rubble of the English channel. He leaned his head on Romano's shoulder. "I can feel Venice sinking."

Romano wrapped his arm around Feliciano.

"It always sinks this time of year." He really didn't want to think about this particular problem.

"You are right ve. It will be fine." Italy said. Romano cringed he knew Feliciano was lying for his sake.

"Have you told the Potato bastard yet?"

"No. I don't want to."

"Feli."

"I know." Italy hugged his brother's side. "I will eventually but right now let's just make sure Matthew is okay. England and France need to know about this."

"Do we have to be the ones to tell them?" Romano groaned.

"They can already tell something wrong so if they ask me I am not lying to them. I don't like lying so I won't." Italy responded

'The exception being the Potato eater.' Romano thought.

"All right but let's go to bed Okay Matthew is totally knocked out." Romano said as he got up from the floor. He helped Feliciano up try to ignore how cold his brother's hand was or how Feli held his chest in pain.

They went to Feliciano room and as Feliciano fell asleep bed. Romano stood at the doorway watching his brother chest move up and down. He wasn't going to be sleeping that night.


	12. Knowledge

The place was weird Alfred knew that he wasn't supposed to be there. Everything was just white and he couldn't think. He hummed a song he didn't know what the tune was and he wasn't even sure if it as him humming it. Where was he. What was he. Who was he.

"Why my boy you are America."

Who was that. All he could see was a red haired man with stubble on his chin. No! his mind screamed. to scary! as ghost! go back! go back to the whiteness! the Nothing. So he let himself go back.

————

When Matthew awoke he as always glanced at his brother. He screamed. Alfred was bleeding from the nose again. He didn't want to think about the possibilities of why. Next thing he knew Prussia and Italy was there. Italy held him back as Gilbert checked Alfred.

"Shhh Matthew he is okay. He is okay." Italy led him to a chair.

"But there was so much."

"Yes but Gilbert checked everything. He is breathing okay. His heart rate is okay. Just relax ve." Italy soothed. Out of the corner of his eye he saw France running toward them. He let go of Matthew.

"Matthieu It is okay I am here!" France soothed. He hugged the boy noticing that Canada tensed but soon relaxed. "America is alright."

"Is England upstairs with him." Italy asked

"Oui." France answered.

Italy nodded and went to go check on them.

———

"You made Matthew nearly have a heart attack lad." Arthur sat next to the comatose America. "Let's not do that again."

Italy walked in and saw England sitting with his head hanging low. His hand on America's wrist as if checking his pulse.

"France is with Matthew." Italy explained.

"When did you start that." England said dreamily

"What."

"You called him Matthew. When did you start doing that? I don't remember you being that close." England sighed, "You know something don't You Italy."

Italy looked down.

"Yes."

England met his eyes tired, "Please tell me. Him and Alfred and Francis are all I have left. Please what happened to him."

Italy hugged his sides. "Of course you need to know. To be honest I don't think France could hear it from anyone but you."

Glancing at Alfred.

"Do you remember about maybe 80 years ago? Do you know what Alfred did for me.?" Italy said.

"Of course you tried jumping off a building in New York. Alfred told me he had to talk you down." England replied.

"He did. I was so out of it the mafia was everywhere and I was still dealing with painful memories of an evil citizen. Alfred saw all of that you know.. I was so high off of Heroine and just wanted everything to be over. Romano wasn't even there to help me. But Alfred climbed up that building and talked me down. Me ,a thousand of years old Nation, getting help from someone so young, so determined. He was a hero that day ve. Matthew needs that hero.." Italy bowed his head. "He was kidnapped. He was beaten up. You know that but England it was so much worse. He was raped probably more than once. I was there saw the vile being that did it. She was so taunting and just evil." Italy clenched his fist tightly. "I am sorry England. I am so sorry."

England wouldn't look at him. A large lump was in his throat. He coughed.

"No." He said

"What."

"Just no. Please oh God. No." England whispered with such fear, "Please Italy... What Do I do?".

Italy cupped England's face the nation was in tears. "You just be there." He could see England shaking.

"Oh god." England quickly ran to bathroom.

As Italy heard England throwing up, he felt France enter the room.

"Is something wrong with Angleterre?" He asked.

"Talk to him you will know." Italy said. France looked confused as he went to England. As Italy started to close the door, he heard a broken hearted French whale.

———

Romano was in the hallway.

"They know?"

"Ve." Italy rubbed a hand through his hair. "Matthew?"

"Prussia is making him pancakes."

Romano studied his brother. "You should have stayed in bed today."

"No..I am fine." Italy answered.

Romano stomped his foot angrily.

"No you are not."

"Roma."

"Don't Roma me! You look terrible. Your face is so pale and your eyes are so dull. I can see you flinching every so often. You have been working so hard. Taking care of Matthew, of Germany, of me, of everyone. Feliciano I cannot just watch this happen to you." Romano cried.

"What you want me to rest?" Italy's voice was soft and dull. Making Romano go quiet.

"You want me to rest and just waste away letting it happen. No. no. No! I am not going to just rot away without making sure everything is all right. I am drowning.

Of course I am! my heart won't stop hurting I can feel Venice it going to go under. Romano I know you don't want to hear it but I am dying. Do you hear me Dying! I might as well do some good before I go. I will keep on going until I take my last breath do you hear me!" Italy was determined, "Your job is to make sure the others survive. That they are able to keep going." He wiped a single tear forming in eye. "Now I have to start dinner before me and Germany go deal with the government. Are you going to help? Or stare at me like a scared squirrel."

Romano was so Dam angry but he couldn't yell back not at Feli not like this. Not when he saw his brother panting tiredly just by standing there.

"Okay but we must make something other than pasta. I don't think I can handle canned tomatoes again." Was all he said.

Italy nodded, "How about soup?"

"That's fine I guess."

Romano followed Feliciano to the kitchen. 'If you die today Feli. I will kill you.' He thought.


	13. Falling

Poland didn't know why Italy had asked to have coffee with him. He also didn't know Why they were making him walk up five stairways to do so. It was so like unfair. He turned to tell Liet...Oh wait Liet wasn't there...oh great his brain was making him sad again. 'Don't think about it' He thought to himself. When he entered he didn't find Italy alone. With him was Gilbert.?

"Hi what is going on.?" Poland asked.

Italy smiled that carefree smile that everyone, except Germany, knew was fake but Poland did as everyone else in the house did and pretended they didn't notice how thin and shaky that man was getting.

"Well we need your help ve." Italy said.

Poland sighed if only he could bring back Italy's real smile. "What can I like help you with.?"

"Well to get right to it. Here take some coffee...Gilbert is taking the boat to check the Baltic states for more refugees." Italy explained. "But If Gilbert is not here then Matthew has to take care of America alone."

Poland nearly spit out his coffee, "Are you gonna try and find Lithuania?"

Prussia gave him a hopeful smile. "We shall at least look."

Poland was over joyed.

"But we need your help to help Canada take care of Alfred while Gilbert is gone." Italy asked.

"Duh anything for Liet. Like hey does this mean I get to finally make America wear that flag dress I made him that one time. The coolness of that alone could wake him up." Poland cheered.

"Um ask Canada about that one." Prussia intervened.

But Poland had already joyously left the room.

Gilbert sighed. Poland was a guy he never could understand.

"So I am all packed." He said to Italy. Have you told Canada who we just put in charge of his brother?" He asked.

"No. He is currently having a family talk with France and England. They are going to take some time. I uh shall tell him after that." Italy answered.

Gilbert crossed his arms considering the Italian before him. "You can sit down ya know Poland has left so just take a moment to drink your coffee."

Italy huffed, "Romano talked to you didn't he."

Gilbert turned slightly pink. "Uhh."

"Trust me I know you two talk." Italy said sitting down tiredly. "It like you have a talk about your brother's issues club."

"We don't. I swear." Gilbert said quickly.

"Be Careful about swearing. But I am fine ve." Italy said. "It's just Venice."

Gilbert glanced down, "Romano said that it is bigger than just Venice being Venice...You don't have to cook tonight. I can make wurst before I go and so you can take a nap or something." He rubbed the back of his neck. He never got used to these conversations.

"I am fine but I might take you up on the offer." Italy said.

"Just umm tell Ludwig please." Gilbert sounded a bit desperate, "because if you don't. I already know he is going to blame himself that he didn't notice. And I really don't want to have to handle a sad Ludwig."

Italy frowned. He already knew how Ludwig would react which is why he didn't tell him in the first place.

"I will tell him when I am ready ok." Italy said trying to just get Gilbert off his back.

Gilbert nodded slowly hoping that Italy was ready going to tell his brother of Venice's inevitable sinking soon.

"Ok." He said.

Italy watched Gilbert's back as he exited the room. He sat sipping at the coffee as if it would stop the flooding. He guessed Canada wasn't the only one having an emotional night.

**Thank you for all the reviews the Canada and France and England talking will come out soon it is just a very emotional scene to right I can only get through a few sentences at a time lol I get to sad and have to take breaks. **


	14. White

**-****Sorry this is late got the flue. Beware this is like super depressing and may trigger you. Sexual harassment and panic attack**

Canada knew something was wrong as soon as he walked into his room to see France and England sitting in chairs next to Alfred's bed

He saw faded tear tracks on both their faces.

"What happened? Is Al okay?" He was worried.

"Alfred is fine." England met his eyes, "but we need to talk." The Brit reached out and instinctively grabbed France's hand. France knew that meant that Author wanted him to take over the talking.

Matthew's expression looked so tired. France shivered.

This was going to be so hard.

"Matthieu...It's you we need to talk about. You see..." France watched as Matthew slowly walked to sit down next to Alfred on the bed.

"Italy told us about something that happened." France saw Matthew's eye widen in realization. "To you. At that mafia man's home." He finished forcing tears not to fall.

England squeezed France's hand harder. "Matthew do you understand what we are talking about?"

Matthew had just been sitting in front of him curled up against the headboard with his hand on Alfred's shoulder. He was barely looking at them. He nodded slightly at Englands question.

The shadows from the oil lamp shone on England's face making him look old. "Matthew lad do you?...do you want to talk about it?" England asked hoping he didn't sound to pleading but Matthew's reaction was scarring him. He had expected tears and shaking but Matthew was just sitting there quietly not saying a word.

"Matthieu.???" France tried to say, but Matthew didn't even look at them. England glanced at Francis having a silent argument about what to say next.

"We can't." Matthew whispered.

The two nation immediately focused their attention to their sweet boy.

"What is it?" England asked as France nodded.

"We can't."

"Can't what?" France asked gently.

"We can't do this in front of Alfred. What if...I cannot talk about this in front of him and I am not leaving him. So...no we can't talk about it." Matthew whispered as England looked closer he saw it. Tears so quietly running down Matthew's face.

"Matthieu please...we need to know what happened..your brother can't even hear us right now." France sounded desperate. He tried to wrap Matthew in a hug but the nation flinched away.

"You already know what happened." Matthew shot back gripping Alfred's shoulder tighter.

"Matthew we have an idea but we need to know from you?" England tried to say.

Matthew froze. "You want to know.." he whispered his voice was strangely floaty. France barely caught him as Matthew's eyes rolled back and he went limp.

And France cried.

——————-

The room was still white. It was so white. Why?

Alfred didn't know he felt small in such a place but he knew the white. Calm and always the same. He didn't like the man. The man was far away but getting closer. The man had red stubbly beard and wore old clothes. Alfred knew the man was a powerful man. Alfred was upset he wanted to go back to the calm white but something was pushing him closer to the powerful man. There was someone in trouble but Alfred didn't know who just that they were.

"Ah you finally are here." The man was standing so close. "Do you know who you are?"

"Alfred." Alfred said. He knew his name somehow he also knew that wasn't the answer the man was looking for. "Who are you?"

"Ah they called me many things but you may call me Rome." Rome answered.

Rome? Alfred didn't know why but the name sounded familiar and brought up memories of an angry tomato faced man. Alfred wondered who he was.

"So Alfred do you wish to speak with me?" Rome asked.

"No." Alfred said. "I want the white."

"Ahh yes it is calming, but are you not lonely." Rome said.

"Why are you here?" Alfred asked wanting the man to let him be peaceful.

"I am waiting for my grandson. But you. You cannot go back to the calm.." Rome said.

Alfred startled at that. "Why?" He wanted to.

"Because soon you have to choose."

"Choose What?"

"To move on or to go back to your family. You are lucky you get to choose. My Grandson doesn't have that choice." Rome answered.

"Family?" Alfred couldn't remember if he had one but he did feel warm when Rome has said it.

"Yes Family you don't remember but you will. Rest your mind. It takes much for us to talk." Rome answered.

Alfred nodded and laid down next to Rome hoping he could be in the white again.

———-

It took Matthew 20 minutes to wake up. When he did he wished he hadn't because there was his worried family. England and France were peering over him with tears stuck in their eyes. He wanted to cry and hug them but fear kept him from doing so. If he told them everything, what if they...what if they...he didn't even know what he supposed to be fearing he just knew he was scared.

What if they thought he was gross or what if they got angry or...

"Matthew look at me." England's voice commanded attention. "You hyperventilating. You need to breathe."

Matthew didn't know what to do as he tried to breathe slower. He knew they wanted him to talk about it. about _her_. He couldn't. "No no no no no monnononono" he didn't realize he was whispering that as fast possible.

"Matthieu shhh. It is okay it's okay." France soothed and he felt England's strong hands wrap him in a hug. He forced himself to relax before he flinched he didn't want England to think he didn't want the hug. Because he did he really really did but also couldn't stop flinching every time someone besides Alfred was close to him. He started crying louder and tears kept coming. "I can't tell you I can't tell you. I am sorry. So sosorry I am sorry." He couldn't stop rambling.

"Matthew it is okay you don't have to tell me. It is okay. You didn't do anything wrong." England whispered letting France join the hug.

"I...I...sorry." Matthew felt so tired so scared.

"It is alright. You did nothing wrong. You don't have to talk to us if you want to." France reassured.

"I...she wouldn't stop. And and... She threatened Alfred...and she she she." Matthew couldn't stop he couldn't hold it in. "Papa? Papa help...can't stop...she hurt me so bad." He could feel it starting; a flashback.

France felt Matthew go limp again.

"Did He?" England asked

"No he still Conscience but...Author he is having a flashback. Matthieu wake up Matthieu please..." France begged England joined him as they tried to bring Matthew out of his mind.

_He was in Carrie's bedroom again. Cold and alone. He was handcuffed to the bed as he heard Carrie showering in the bathroom. He closed his eyes trying not to cry. She hadn't given him back his clothes and the cold air was hurting him. He swallowed knowing what was about to happen. She was in the room again giggling with that fake innocent laugh. _

_"Hi Matthew." She whispered into his ear. He couldn't see she had blindfolded him. "So you want to play a game?" _

_He flinched he knew the game._

_"I am gonna touch you and you tell me where I am sounds fun huh remember don't peak." Matthew nodded as the game began._

_And oh how he hated it how she would make him say exactly where her evil hands were . How she would do this for hours until he broke down in tears and then and then she would say she would make him feel better. How she would kiss away his tears making Him cry even more. How she would she would use him to get her fix of sex. how he could never make her stop_.

He couldn't breathe he couldn't see someone was shaking him. He heard someone screaming was that him?

"Matthew please.." England begged.

"Papa...? Dad.??" Matthew was coming out of it. France could see.

"It me Matthieu it's your Papa its okay. You are at Italy's house remember.?

Matthew blinked a few time and nodded. "How long?"

"30 minutes you were in shock for thirty minutes."

Matthew starled by the district Italian voice that had sprung up from the other side of the bed.

"Romano?"

"Yep."

"How did you?"

"When you stopped responding. France ran to get me." Romano said. "You were in emotional shock."

"Oh."

"Yeah. So here the deal. I know you need to sleep. Do you want France and England to stay with you or me." Romano stated. "You can't be alone in case you go into shock again. I can also get Feliciano but he is napping so I wouldn't advise it." Romano crossed his arms, "So what do you want?"

Matthew looked from France and England to Romano. He knew if France and England stayed they might pepper him with questions he didn't want to answer.

"You." He pointed to Romano. The Italian nodded and stood to usher the two other nations out.

Matthew cringed France looked hurt.

After they left Romano sat down in one of the fluffy chairs.

"I hurt their feelings didn't I?" Matthew said.

"No. You didn't. I already knew you chose me. I told them that." Romano explained.

"How did you know?"

"I don't ask scary questions." Romano responded. "Now go to sleep."

Matthew nodded tiredly.

Romano watched as the young nation slept. The night felt darker then ever. There where so many broken nations in this home. He thought about his brother who was slowly drowning, about Matthew's last soul, about how Denmark was still having panic attacks, how sometimes he would find Switzerland staring into an empty hallway crying, How Poland would turn to a friend that wasn't there or how Gilbert kept leaving desperately searching for any survivors. Romano sighed there was some many people that needed help he didn't even was to think about how his mental state was.

Rather than dwelling on the depression that was trying to ingulf him Romano just straightened Matthew and Alfred's sheets.


	15. Questions

-The pot was boiling over.

The pot is boiling over.

Why hasn't Italy noticed?

These thoughts were buzzing about Germany's head as he rushed forward to stop the hot water from getting everywhere. He turned off the stove as he turn toward his friend as to ask him why he hadn't been watching the stove only to find that Italy was in fact asleep.

"Italy?" Germany asked

Italy didn't wake up right away as he normally did when Germany would catch him sleeping the day away. No the excitable nation yawned slowly blinking at the German tiredly.

"Hmm sorry Germany. Guess I fell asleep. Is everything alright?" He said

Germany turned pink. "The um corn was boiling over."

Italy jumped up fast after that. "Oh no."

Germany waved his hand dismissively. "It is alright. I turned it off."

"Oh grazie! I better get the bread out of the oven. I hope it is not burnt." Italy hurried around the kitchen.

"Are you all right?" Germany asked.

"What of course. Why wouldn't I be." Italy covered the bread with a cloth the keep it fresh.

"You just seem. Well tired?" Germany worriedly suggested.

"Oh well cooking dinner almost every night might be getting to me a bit but I am fine I promise." Italy answered.

And Germany believed him.

Of course he did. Italy doesn't lie.

Then why are going to his brother about it?

Crap! Germany for the first time didn't trust what his friend was telling him. Oh how he felt so guilty about it too. He almost left the door of Romano's room because of it but he had to know. Why would Italy not be telling him the truth? Why did he think that? Ugh Gilbert had always told him he had trust issues. Germany sighed, thinking back the conversation he had had with Italy, he shook his head. No he needed to make sure Italy was actually all right. So asking Romano was his only real option.

When his knocked he came face to face with a tired looking Romano.

"Uh" was all Germany could think to say something seemed off about the Italian. He seemed well nicer looking.

Romano in turn stared back and then rolled his eyes and ushered Germany inside the room.

"So why are you here?" Romano asked leaning against a book shelf that rested in the corner.

Germany swallowed he was not used to Romano not calling him a bastard. "I am worried about Ita...are you okay?" He noticed Romano had his head in his hands.

"What oh no I am totally fine." The sarcasm was not lost on Germany.

"What's wrong?" He asked the Italian.

"Headache. I haven't exactly been sleeping."

"Oh is it..is it Canada?" Germany knew that Romano had practically become a security blanket for the northern nation.

"Yeah he needs someone there. I have had to watch make sure he doesn't completely lose it." Romano said, "And well Poland isn't exactly the best babysitter for Alfred. He tried to put makeup on the kid. So I had to clean that stuff off. Matthew nearly burst a vein."

"But I thought France and England would have?" Germany was interrupted.

"Yeah they have been trying but the kid is way to traumatized to even register that they are trying to help him. He so scared they are gunna ask him things he can't answer. So it's just a mess." Romano finished his rant.

Germany looked down embarrassed. "I thought Italy would have told me if it got that bad."

Romano huffed. "Feliciano doesn't tell you everything Idiota."

Germany sighed, "That's why I am here. I uh..is he okay. I asked him and he said he was but I don't know. Is something wrong?"

Romano crossed his arms. "Use your big Potato brain and figure it out."

"But."

"But nothing it's not my job to tell you anything about my brother. I don't even know why he likes you so much." He threw his hands in the air. "Just get out of here. Your time is better spent actually with him then coming to me with stupid questions."

Germany quickly left the room with the yelling Romano.

Well. Germany supposed He would have to figure out Italy's behavior on his own.

—————

That night when Italy got back from his government duties he immediately went to Romano's room. His brother was actually sleeping this time and not taking care of a crying Matthew but quickly woke When Feliciano entered.

"Feli you're back." Romano yawned.

"Ve"

Romano studied his brother who was hugging his sides and a fearful expression.

"What happened?" He prodded. He had a idea of what was going on but Feliciano definitely needed to talk about it.

"Germany is gunna find out. He didn't believe me this time I know it and..and I don't know what to do. Everyone needs my help and I don't know what to do."

Romano jumped out of bed and caught his brother before he fell into a crying mess.

"Shh Feli it going to be okay." He whispered.

"No it's not it's not...I don't wanna die. Roma I...can't just die not after all the things I been through." Feliciano hugged his brother tightly. "Germany is gunna find out. There is so many things I haven't told him. Romano just so many. I don't like lying why did I?"

"Because you love him." Romano sighed. "That Potato eater and you have been together for centuries you love him so course you try and protect him. Hell you even tried protecting me from this Feli of course good thing I am not a idiota."

Feliciano sniffed. "No you definitely aren't a idiota." He buried his head into Romano's Pjs. "Everything hurts so bad."

Romano held the back of his brother's head softly. "You are sleeping with me tonight."

"Ve".

————————

Alfred knew the whiteness wasn't letting him back into the arms of comfort. Rome had fallen silent not asking him any questions. So questions formed on his own mind making him remember things.

His knew he had a brother "Matthew" and parents, "Arthur And Francis".

He loved them. But there was something missing. Something important was missing. What was it. He glanced at Rome maybe his would know.


	16. UPDATE

Hey everyone I think for the new year a update would be appropriate. I firstly want Thank you for reading this story. I am bit new at this writing thing. So I want to get better at grammar. I have some idea of how. Like moving off my phone note app and into Google docs. If anyone has grammar helps or suggestions, I could really use them. I am also over my flue so will hopefully be posting more. Thank you


	17. Granola

-Matthew knew that everyone was worried about it. France and England had barely left his side since the panic flashback incident. He honestly was starting to feel a bit smothered. He didn't want to talk about it and that was all the two seemed to want to do. He knew they felt bad. He did too but he just couldn't tell them anything what happened. It made his heart pound just thinking about it. He didn't want to be reminded of it. Unfortunately, his dreams weren't helping. He wondered if Romano was asleep already as he walked down the hallway that night. _No_. his mind claimed. _You shouldn't wake him up. He has barely gotten any sleep because of you. _

Matthew sighed maybe if he went down stairs and got a snack he might be able to calm himself down.

The kitchen seemed empty. He rested a hand on the marble counter top as he reached for a granola bar. He sighed finding they were out.

"Matthieu?"

Matthew jumped. "Ah!" He turned and saw France leaning on the counter. "Papa?"

"Oui. It is just me." The Frenchman spoke quietly. The two stared at each with emotions brewing under the surface waiting for the other's emotional dam to break. France was ready to spill into tears and hug the boy he loved so much but all he could do and watch as Matthew untrusting eye followed him. The Frenchman could only think that Matthew looked much like when he had first met him. Lost and confused in the middle of a icy field. France could have smiled at the memory but right now Matthew was looking lost for other reasons. Reasons that France did not know how to fix.

"If you are looking for granola bars I think Hungry hid them in the silverware drawer." France said.

Matthew looked was happy to find one.

"What are you doing up so late at night?" Matthew asked as he opened the package.

"It's always night. But to be honest I heard you get up." France answered.

"Oh"

"Oui."

Matthew glanced across the counter at France tiredly. "I don't want to talk."

"We don't have to."

"Okay."

"I think Italy might have some movies so that might be fun since I don't think either of us are going back to sleep." France gestured toward the living room.

"Okay."

They ended up watching Cinderella. France on one end of the couch and Matthew on the other. The movie was better that France remembered as he watched the screen he felt Matthew scooting closer and and closer. Eventually, the little nation had wrapped his arms around him. France did speak a word as he felt Matthew cling to him softly nor did he even mention the tears that the northern nation where crying. He held his Canada tightly allowing him to let it all out. The two didn't need to speak as a silent conversation blazed around them. One needing comfort and the other sending it. After the movie ended and Matthew fell asleep, France finally let tears fall. Maybe they would be okay? He wondered just maybe it would be okay.


	18. Thanks

**-****All right be prepared for some cursing suicidal thoughts s actions and drug use this is The Italy chapter that may trigger**.

The house was quiet. Italy pondered this as he sat down next to the unconscious United States. Matthew and France and England had volunteered to go the the ration market that day. Poland, Estonia and Denmark where playing uno downstairs and Sweden had volunteered to cook dinner. China was his normal quiet self and still hadn't left his room outside of dinner. Switzerland had said he was going on a walk. Italy sighed. He had volunteered to watch after America but the silence was getting to him. He studied the ever young features of the Americans face. Alfred's smile was missed dearly.

"You know Alfred Do you remember that only a while ago our roles where reversed. You sat with me when I was totally knocked out. I remember waking up and you tried to hide that you ate my jello." Italy closed his eyes in remembrance. "You saved me. I don't think I ever properly thanked you for it." He words met the silence of Alfred's sleeping face. "Thank you America. Just thank you...sorry I didn't mean to start crying..it is just you saved me but right now I don't think anyone can save me from dying." Italy rubbed a hand across his face. He thought back to that time the pain, the fear and the shame.

———

Italy stood on the edge. Below him thousands of people tiny like ants living their lives around him. He needed to let go. To die was his wish but he knew even if he flung himself off the tallest skyscraper he would live. Back home his country was strong but right now he didn't feel strong. All he wanted to join Holy Rome and forget the pain, Forget the hands that had touched him so long ago. Forget the mafia he couldn't stop. the mafia that killed the young America's citizens. His body felt light. Was he high? He couldn't remember his body felt the drug but his mind was in to much pain to let himself feel the forced happy ness. Why was he here? Ah that was it to jump. Jump and fly maybe he wouldn't die maybe he would at least be able to let out the pain on the ride down. If this half baked plan worked, would anyone notice? What would Romano say? _Romano is not here._ What about Germany? _He has saved you enough_. There was no one to tell him to stop and he didn't want to. _Just let go_.

"No."

Italy turned and behind him he saw America. _No you can't stop me. Please let me die._ Italy's thoughts spiraled around him.

"Italy please get down."

"No!"

"Italy please this isn't right." America reached a hand out to him.

"Go away."

"No I won't. Don't jump please don't jump."

"I have to." Italy roared.

"Why?" America desperately asked.

"You are to young to understand."

"Screw that tell me anyway."

Italy stared at the boy who even though had tears stuck in his eyes was smiling a carefully hopeful smile. Italy sniffed, "I don't know why. I just don't want to be anymore." Wind whipped at his hair. "Let me jump please."

The young American carefully stepped forward. "Please..Feliciano..I don't want to add another death to my name. You have so much to live for think of Romano and Germany. Please I know things are bad. I am so sorry god this is my fault. I am so sorry just don't try to die please." Alfred was crying now. "Please so many people love you. Don't let my country's depression effect you."

Italy held on to the wire that was keeping him from jumping. That was right America was in economic turmoil. But he didn't get it. It was Italy's fault. He had been unable to stop the mafia. "No it not you it's not..."

"It is okay. Please Italy. I can't watch another person jump...blame me...hate me but God don't jump don't."

Italy was surprised he didn't realize that America cared so much. "I have to. It will make me forget. I want to forget."

Italy couldn't take it. He started to let go. Right before gravity took control of him he felt strong arms wrap around his middle. America heaved Italy back over to the side of the living. Italy felt like a rag doll as Alfred hugged him tightly. The American was whispering softly words of comfort as the Italian cried fighting him to get back to the ledge. "I wanna forget. I wanna forget." Italy cried.

"Shh..it okay you're okay you're okay." America whispered expertly holding Italy as far away from the edge of the building. Italy trashed.

"Please let me forget." He sobbed. He went limp in America's arms exhausted from fighting. Alfred inspected him for injuries.

"Fuck. You are high. Italy look at me please look at me."

Italy rolled his head to stare at Alfred. "Let me..." he whispered.

"How much heron are you on." Alfred desperately held his face. "I am so sorry.

"I wanna forget." Italy whispered.

Alfred picked the loopy nation up and carted him down stairs. "Just hang on I am gonna get you to a hospital."

————-

Smoothing Alfred's pillow, Italy remembered how Alfred had stayed by his side the whole time as Doctors rushed around him in the hospital. How Italy had told him what one of his citizens had done to him with whispered cries. How Alfred had even called and paid for Romano to sail over to come and help him. How he had let them stay in his home as Romano desperately tried to take care of Italy's withdraws. Alfred had been there through it all had held his hand before walking into therapy had comforted Romano when the stress of handling Feliciano's sometimes angry outbursts got to much.

"Remember when I asked you why you had helped me so much? Remember what you said." Italy smiled. "You said That everyone needs a chance. That I needed help so you gave it. That it was what anyone would have done." Italy held Alfred's limp hand. "I tell you now America. You did more than anyone had ever tried before. You brought my smile back even Romano didn't know how to do that. I promise that I will try to bring Matthew's smile back. I promise this to you." Italy squeezed America's hand. "Thank you."


	19. Walls

-Going out into the darkness was never the most fun and mostly just reminded Matthew what a terrible spot the world was in, but alas he had to get out of the unending worry filled eyes of France and England. So he walked across the empty street which was lighted by age old lanterns, no one was out and about even though by technical time measurements it was morning.

Maybe he would sleep okay tonight. He wondered nightmares have been getting a bit better. Italy did say that the memories do eventually stop being so vivid.

"Your mind as been trying to heal and it will get better. Just spend some time to relax today, Poland and I can watch Alfred." He remembered Italy's words from breakfast.

Shaking out his head he decided to sit down on an iron bench to rest. For some reason, his leg had been hurting more recently. France said to wait till Prussia got back to check it. The sky was so dark without stars it made everything feel empty. Maybe this little walk was a bad idea. He thought he should be with Alfred. What if something happened while he was away? Matthew was about to stand up and head back to the house when he heard a strange sound to the side of him. THUMP THUMP THUMP. Looking in the direction that the sound was coming from, he found it echoed out of a small side ally.

As he walked to it, he pondered if this as a good idea to be investigating a dark ally. His curiosity was much stronger though and he hoped it wasn't someone in trouble.

He peered in was shocked to find non other than Switzerland.

Switzerland didn't look good. His hair was unkept. and the green uniform that normally adorned his figure was missing. He seemed to be wearing a old black T shirt and jeans. What was worse though was that he sitting down facing the brick wall pounding one fist on it over and over. Matthew could already see red tacky blood on Switzerland's knuckles. Just as he was about to try and stop Switzerland, Matthew felt a hand on his shoulder. It was Prussia.

"You're back!" Matthew whispered as he watched Prussia walk toward Switzerland.

Prussia nodded as he knelt down next to the Swiss nation. As Switzerland raised his hand again to punch the wall, Prussia blocked him.

"Vash no." Was all Prussia said as he held Switzerland's wrist.

Switzerland just stared at the blood stained bricks. Without looking at Prussia, Switzerland used his other hand to pound the wall. Prussia grabbed both of Vash's hands and forced him to look at him.

"No. You need to stop." Prussia said.

Switzerland didn't say anything just looked away from Prussia. Prussia in turn grabbed Switzerland's chin and forced him to look at him.

Holding Vash's fists up for him to see Prussia said. "Look at what you are doing to yourself. You think she would want you to do this?"

"It doesn't matter she's gone." Vash whispered.

"It does matter. Vash..." Prussia sighed. "You are sad, angry and pounding on a wall isn't helping. Vash. Liechtenstein...loved you. She doesn't want you to become what are you becoming."

"And what am I becoming." Switzerland's voice cracked. "I don't know what I am without her here. I don't know."

"You are becoming a angry shell and what you should be is kind and brave and pissy the way you always been. But right now what you need to do is...cry. Vash you haven't let yourself grief you need to accept...she's not coming back." Prussia flinched as he said those hard words.

Switzerland closed his eyes. "Why?"

"Because she died." Prussia whispered, "You need to accept it."

Switzerland shook. Matthew didn't need to see tears to know Vash was crying.

Prussia encircled Switzerland with a soft tight hug. "Birdie. You should get back to the house." He said softly to Matthew.

"Is he...?"

"He will be."

Matthew nodded as he left.

Prussia and Switzerland stayed embracing for while until Switzerland pulled away quietly.

"I...thank you." He said.

Prussia smiled. "Of course. We are family."

Switzerland rubbed away grimy tears. "Did you find any refuges?"

Prussia sighed. "Not many but there is some very good news."

"Yeah?"

"I found Lithuania."


	20. Back

Going back to the house, Matthew felt a soft silence surround him. He glanced into the kitchen and found no one. Shrugging he decided to head to the living room to see if he could find France and England. He wondered why it was so quiet. Upon entering the living room, Matthew soon discovered why everyone was so quiet. On the couch, surrounded by whispering nations was a sleeping Lithuania. Matthew quickly made his way over to France, England and Alfred in his chair, who were sitting in the corner.

"Hey guys." Matthew greeted his family with a smile.

"Ah there you are." Arthur said as he adjusted Alfred in his seat.

"Did you see? Lithuania has been found." France flashed a smile that had been rare for the last few weeks

Matthew nodded. "I saw Prussia outside. Where's Poland? He is going to want to know that Lithuania is here."

"Oui. Prussia went out to find him. You must've bumped into him while he was looking." France answered.

"I hear Prussia in the kitchen ve". Italy excitingly came up behind them. "I can not wait to see Poland's face. He will be so happy."

Matthew allowed the Italian to hug him in joy. This was good he supposed. Italy seemed happier than he had been in weeks. The Italian was practically glowing with joy. Inwardly Matthew felt conflicted, it was good that Lithuania was alive and well but witnessing Switzerland's breakdown over Liechtenstein had been unnerving. He edged closer to the sleeping Alfred.

"Hey everyone I found Poland." Prussia interrupted the quiet living room with his loud exclamation. Poland and Switzerland, who seemed back to his normal composed self, followed behind. His booming voice not only startled the others but also made Lithuania jump awake with a gasp.

One. Two.

Three.

That is how many seconds it took for Poland to fling himself at Lithuania with a joyous yell.

"LEIT."

Lithuania felt his blonde friend cling to him. He didn't know how to react for it had been so long since he had seen Poland. All he knew was that, it was okay, Poland was with him alive. Except there was one issue.

"Poland as happy am I to see you um..you are kinda squeezing my ribs a bit." Lithuania didn't want to make Poland feel bad but his ribs felt like a thousand needles were gabbing into them.

Poland immediately let go and started inspecting Lithuania's injuries and asking a thousand questions.

"What happened? Where did you go after trying to find help for Latvia? Are you hurt? How did..."

"Flieks! Stop. if you slowdown, I will tell you everything." Lithuania had on one of his trademark stressfiled smiles. Poland nodded sliding inti a sitting position on the couch.

"I...I thought you died." He whispered letting Lithuania wrap one of his arms around him.

"I thought I died too." Lithuania's comment seemed more a thought that had escaped than a actual remark. He looked up at the nations surrounding them. "You all seem curious to what has happened to me so I might as well tell you besides Italy has to know for his government and I don't feel like telling the story over and over."

Italy had taken up a seat next to his brother. Lithuania was a bit confused the Italian looked exhausted.

"Yes telling everyone at once is a good idea but wait one moment for Germany went to get Estonia. He will want to hear it too." Italy explained.

Lithuania gripped Poland's arm. His brother was alive! "I..." he would have cried there right then but was stopped by Germany wheeling Estonia in. Lithuania couldn't do much more then stare as his little brother beat him to tears.

"Toris...!" Estonia took control of his wheelchair and rolled over to couch as fast as possible.

"You're alive!" Lithuania reached other his arm and placed it on Estonia trembling cheek. "You're alive." It was all he could say as Estonia placed his hand over Lithuania's.

"Yes I am and..and so are you." Estonia was filled with relief as if a unending dark hole had been healed. The three of them took a couple moments before Lithuania turned back to the others.

"I think I can tell you all where I have been now." He said

Both Germany and Italy nodded as Lithuania began.

—————

He had just left to find the nearest hospital for Latvia. He walked because driving would have dangerous for most of the road had been destroyed. Struck by the ending cold and darkness, Lithuania could only see a few feet ahead by using a make shift lantern made of a candle and tiny birdcage.

It is colder than Mister Russia's house. He thought this while trying to swallow the anxiety that filled his heart. Before he had left, Latvia couldn't barely breathe. What if he couldn't find the hospital? What if he couldn't get back in time? What if his little brother died?

Lithuania shook himself out of his thoughts. He had to be strong enough to get back. Ignoring the stinging pain in his chest, he pushed on.

It toke three hours of wandering before he admitted to himself that he was lost. Hopelessly lost in the middle of a dark abandoned city, Lithuania knew that he had to rest for he had been going for 24hrs with no sleep. But he could not rest not when Latvia was with Poland choking on his own breath.

Besides he had felt worse pain then a bit of tiredness so pushing on checking buildings for any type of familiar landmark, Lithuania looked for the hospital. In all, it took 48 more hours of tirelessly searching before he found the hospital. Surprisedly, the lights of the hospital were still on. Lithuania entered the cold abandoned building. He followed blue signs trying to find were oxygen tanks could be. It was strange walking empty hospital hall with no people in sight. He swallowed his fear and opened another door.

Yes! He celebrated at finding a small tank of oxygen. Now all he had to do was get back to Poland and Latvia. He ignored his aching legs and left the hospital.

The walk back felt darker. He prayed that he wouldn't get lost again. The candle flickered slightly. Little cold tickles of snow touched his cheek as he struggled to see though the dark.

It only took a few moments before he heard a terrible sound. A sound he was extremely familiar with.

A howl.

RUN his mind screamed and as he did so he could hear the growls and barks through the pounding of his heart.

Wolves god why did it have to be wolves. He turned a corner and through the glow of his candle he saw a stone block shed in front of him. He rushed in a closed the rusty metal door right before he heard the hellish animals slam into it. For a moment he just laid there listening as the wolves circled the small building obviously trying to get in. Lithuania wasn't sure if they could get in but the sprint had wiped away the rest of his energy and he passed out hugging the oxygen tank.

When he awoke, the wolves were gone. Standing, He went to the door and tried opening it, but it wouldn't badge. He realized with his heart dropping that the door was stuck and was stuck well. He pressed against it. Jiggled the handle and even tried to run at it but the door wouldn't open. He looked around the concrete building trying to find a window to break but in the small space it was only stone. He kept trying for four hours until his little lantern went out and he was thrust into complete darkness. It reminded him slightly of Mr. Russia's house when the snow would make the power go out and they were left in the cold. He shivered this cold was much worse at least Russia had blankets. Curling against the wall, Lithuania cried. No one knew where he was. Three days past at least he guessed that number. He assumed he would die there of either starvation or cold. Thinking on the bright side was his coping mechanism so he simply thanked God that he had no chance of dying of thirst. Melting snow Dripped from the roof making everything cold and wet. After a week, he started to see things. Visions of Russia angrily yelling or Poland finding him, once he believed himself to be back at Russia's home doing the dishes. As scary as hallucinating was, Lithuania felt comforted by some of the visions he saw for it made him feel less alone.

After two weeks he pounded on the door over and over before he ran out of strength to lift his arms. He knew then he would die there alone in a shed far away from his family and friends. He didn't have the energy to cry.

It was the third week when he hard something out side. Voices. He wanted to call out but the weeks of solitude had made him afraid but then he heard a familiar language spread throughout his ears. They where speaking Lithuanian. His language they were he people. Unable to lift his head all he could do was cry out an animalistic yell.

Outside the sound stopped at He heard a rusty creak as warm candle light shone into his eyes. He felt hands on him as he was lifted out of Hell. He woke up five days later in a tent covered in itchy wools. He didn't mind because it wasn't cold anymore.

"You are awake!" A man with a long white beard stood over him. "Do you have sanity?"

Lithuania blinked "Sanity?"

"You have woken many times calling out the names of countries. It was strange. You know who you are?" The man spoke as if he had been smoking for years.

"Yes. I am Toris. You saved me?"

"Yes it was pretty scary the way you where but here eat some of this." The man handed him a can of beans. "My name is Michel. You remember anything?"

"I remember the door opening."

"Yeah That makes since you passed out as soon as we found you. We are a small group so it won't be to hard for you to come with us."

"Huh?" Lithuania asked.

"We are heading to Italy it's the safest place right now. We got to get to the coast and supposedly they have boats." Michel answered

"I need to get to my family" Lithuania tried sitting up.

"Well you're in no shape to be walking out there. Your best bet is to stick with our group to see if they're headed to the boats as well."

All Lithuania could do was nod slowly, Michel was right he was not strong enough.

It took two more weeks to get to the coast. Lithuania felt like a burden for Michel had to carry him. They didn't know exactly why his legs didn't seem to work ,but he assumed it was from the earthquakes that had caused chaos in his land added with the physical chaos that had tormented him.

They joined a bigger group of refugees. It was only a few days when he heard cheers from the crowd. A boat had arrived.

"Lithuania. This is awesome."

——————-

**_Yes I have been gone for weeks. Lol yeahhh I had some issues I had to deal with in the outer net. I will try to post more updates when I can this story will be completed it is just gonna take I while same with all my other tails sorry bout that thanks for reading even though I am slower than molasses. _**


	21. Fate

**_Soo I was a little hesitant to post this chapter due to all the things going on in Italy right now but since I think that this story does need to be finished soon the next chapter will be the last so this one had to be posted before then. I will post a trigger warning for the next chapter for gore just Incase. My prayers are with everyone who is suffering because of this virus. _**

No one ever realized not since he was little how much he actually cared.

Spain, his grandfather not even Feliciano knew.

Romano was used to that.

Used to being ignored. Sure when he was young he would lash out at how unrecognized he was. He reacted angry and stubborn, but eventually he would learn that he didn't really care about the fact no one realizing he was Italy too. Sure he was still stubborn and hated being mushy but it became less about how ignored he felt and more about how he never learned to express his feelings. He guessed that Spain had helped with the felling of being less than. Spain had showered him with attention. He remembered that sometimes he would do something bad like he always did. And instead getting the normal negative attention he expected, Spain had just helped him clean up and then took him for ice cream. He stretched in front of the mirror. He noticed he had dark circles but he couldn't help but smile. Lithuania had been found and maybe just maybe they would find the best father figure he had ever had as well. Lithuania's return had brought hope back into the house. Poland had cried for three hours after the story was told, Lithuania had been smiling. Touching his chest, he felt the Pulse Of Rome beating quickly inside himself. The city had been damaged slightly by the darkness but it still stood strong. He smiled remembering something precious his grandfather had taught him.

"If Rome falls we all do." His grandfather had whispered to him on his 200th birthday. Romano hadn't believed him but now seeing how Matthew still desperately clinging to him and how Germany had come in asking about Feliciano.

_Feliciano_.

He needed him to make sure that everyone was okay. Centuries ago Romano would have relished being in charge of everyone but now it was to much. He wondered if he had simply liked the idea of power because he never had it. But he hated the responsibility of being the keeper of the keys to everyone's emotions. Maybe Matthew would sleep tonight, maybe Italy wouldn't be suffering, and maybe he and Prussia could go drinking like he knew the equally stressed Gilbert wanted. He ran a hand though his hair and exited the bathroom.

"Romano Help! Something is wrong with Italy." A distinctly German voice echoed down the hall.

Before he took to running down the hall he glanced up.

His knowledge of theology knew was he was wrong but his heart wondered if sometimes God was cruel.

———————

Alfred knew something was wrong by the simple fact that he in one sudden movement remembered everything.

His brother

His father

His name.

The bombs the volcano the pain the

Everything.

He cried out has he felt olive arms wrap around him and a scratchy beard against his back.

"Hush little empire." Rome had whispered. "Your time is

Nearly up."

Alfred tried to relax but thousands of memories were pour through his mind. Hundreds of mistakes, choices regrets.

He was being swallowed by his own memory.


	22. Light

This wasn't good. No. Something was very very wrong. Germany could feel it as he watched Italy's movements around the kitchen.he was moving so slowly and he definitely wasn't smiling like the Italy he knew. Italy's smile was weirdly crooked. And he seemed to having a hard time standing straight.

"Italy?" Germany asked an unspoken question on his lips.

"I am fine." Was all the Italian said in reply.

But in a moment Germany realized that his dearest friend was anything but fine. Because Italy fell to the ground.

"Italy!!" Germany rushed around the counter to his friend. Italy was on the floor trying to get up by leaning onto the bottom cabinet of the kitchen island. His breathes were...

_Watery_.

That was when Germany called for Romano. His panicked sound brought not only Romano but also Gilbert and Matthew rushing in form the living room.

Gilbert immediately took action.

"Ludwig...we need to get him off the floor. Italy can you talk?" He said kneeling down.

"Si. But it hurts." Italy said gasping.

"Okay good. Me and Romano are going to get you to the living room couch." Prussia explained allowing Romano to grab Italy's upper body as he grabbed his legs.

Germany was confused as he followed them. _What was wrong. What was happening. _

"It's okay...Germany...it is l just Venice." Italy called out in shaky breaths.

"I don't understand?" Germany answered. "Gilbert shouldn't we be calling a doctor or something?"

Gilbert didn't answer.

"There would be no use. Don't you realize. You potato idiot. It's Venice and it's sinking. No doctor can help that." Romano whispered he was holding his brother's hand tightly.

"But it sinks all the time?" Germany was beginning to understand but prayed to God that what his mind was jumping to wasn't true.

Gilbert put a hand on his shoulder. "It's sinking for good Luddy. It is sinking for good." He said.

No but that meant. No

He sunk down on the floor next to the couch. "But that means."

"It means. I am dying for real." Italy answered his eyes were missing their normal glow.

Germany reached and grasped Italy's hand. "How long did you know and not tell me?"

"Since the darkness started. Since the world ended. I haven't told you so much...I don't think I have time to now. I am sorry Germany I am so sorry but I wanted you to be happy so I didn't tell you or anyone but Romano." Italy gasped out.

Germany looked at Romano who wouldn't meet his eyes but only stared at Italy. His face wet. Gilbert still hadn't let go of his brother's shoulder.

"Italy? Why?" Was all Germany could muster to say as thoughts swirled around his mind.

"You know I hate Lying. Did you know that I hate it so much, but I have done it so much. Maybe there is time for me to say some truth. Romano, I love you. Your the best brother ever and and and you were always Grandpa Rome's favorite. I know it didn't seem that way but you were. I alway's wanted you to realize that." Italy paused as Romano struggled to say something anything. "Feliciano...I don't"

"You were always supposed to be Italy. And you better get used to it. Cause you made a promise and and."

"Thank you." Romano held Italy's hand up to his cheek.

"Okay." Italy glanced over to a terrified looking Canada who had taken up a spot near the top of the couch. "Matthew..I know these last few months have been so hard for you. I want you to know that everyone here is supporting you and..America will wake up. I know this in my bones. I know he will. So don't give up hope okay?"

Matthew wiped away tears and glanced back at America in his chair next to the fire place. "I won't. I promise."

Italy nodded as his set his sight on Gilbert. "Prussia. You are irreplaceable. You have saved so many people so many of my people. Thank you. no matter your official status, you will always be a country to me and I should have said that to you a long time ago."

Gilbert nodded thankfully.

As Italy turned toward Germany, he struggled not to cry. "Germany. I am sorry for lying. I really am. I have lied to you so much. I...Do you remember so long ago we were kids and you thought..haha.you thought I was a girl...You probably don't remember. Austria said you wouldn't..I guess it all boils down to the fact that you will always be in my heart. I love you Germany. Don't be sad..I like it better when you smile. You don't smile a lot but when you do it brings me such joys. So just smile for me okay?"

Germany's didn't know what to say not at all but he could feel the grip of Italy's hand start to get weaker and weaker. He forced himself to look at the Italian. Italy had sparkling tears in his eyes. Germany did what he always did and give in to his friend's request. He smiled as he felt Italy loose the last of his breath.

————————

The world was white.

Italy wasn't surprised by that. So he walked forward ready to finally rest but then he saw him. Young. blonde. Tall. And with a cow lick.

America stared for a moment as he broke the silence. "Italy?"

"America." Italy smiled. "You're waking up aren't you? Matthew will be glad." He began to walk past the 200 year old teen. "You watch after them okay? Do what you do best and save the world. It needs some light in the darkness."

America watched him pass. "Okay. I will." He said in the way he always did as if he knew for sure.

Italy slowly left the American behind. Pondering if the world that was filled with darkness would ever go back to normal. As he saw the figure of a tall man with red hair and a scratchy beard come into view. He remembered. Countries can rise and fall but as long at someone remembered then perhaps the future would be as bright as the sun.

_**Fin**_

**Hey finally uploaded it. I want to thank everyone who read this story and just thanks** 3


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